The Sleepless
by Caroline
Summary: [RyanKirsten] It all came crashing down around them on one sleepless night. Chapter 12 is up, with more to follow.
1. After Midnight

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER ONE: "After Midnight"  
AUTHOR: Caroline  
E-MAIL:in my profile, I think. (flames will be giggled at, FYI, so don't bother sending 'em)  
SPOILERS: "The Gamble"; "The Debut"... takes place in season one.  
RATING: M (very very M)  
KEYWORDS: Rysten  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know this is a completely unconventional pairing, but let's face it -- anyone who can't see the sparks between these two, is blind. Also, to the author kirstencohen: apologies for how similar my story may seem to a portion of yours starting out, but I assure you, it is purely by coincidence.  
SUMMARY: It all came crashing down around them on one sleepless night.

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Moonlight lit her way, filtering down through the numerous skylights and through the windows, creating pathways of silver leading to her destination. She raked a hand through her pillow-tousled golden locks and padded down the stairs, careful not to make too much noise. Sandy would start to ask questions if he knew that she hadn't been sleeping the past few weeks. And if he knew why, he'd really start interrogating.

Kirsten Cohen adored her husband -- loved him with every bit of herself -- but, lately there had been something missing. Their newlywed status, which had surprisingly lasted for nearly twenty years, was starting to wear off. Their spark, that unique charge that constantly kept her energized, kept her under his spell, was starting to wane. She was finding electricity emanating from a slightly more disconcerting source these days, something that both frightened and ashamed her.

She wandered toward the kitchen, pausing along the way to admire how the moonbeams shimmered off the water in the infinity pool, not watching where she was going. When she crashed into a warm body, she gasped loudly and stumbled back, losing her footing.

Two strong hands reached out and found her waist, pulling her against that warm body for a moment to brace her. His gruff whisper drifted toward her ear. "Sorry."

Her hands fluttered up to his muscular chest of their own accord, trembling slightly both at the scare, and at the close contact. She pushed herself away gently and averted her eyes, fighting not to think too hard about just how muscular he really was. "No, Ryan, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention, and I--" She paused then, meeting his shadowed gaze. "What are you doing up?"

His head was tilted slightly downward, his eyes branding her through his lashes. "Couldn't sleep," he muttered, that low voice scraping her nerve endings. He finally removed his hands from her slim waist, her body craving more contact though her heart and mind deemed the action appropriate. "What about you?"

Kirsten shook her head gently, whispering, "I couldn't sleep, either."

Ryan nodded his response and glanced around the moonlit kitchen. "I was thinking about watching some TV or maybe putting on some coffee, but... I didn't want to wake anybody up."

"How about some juice, instead?" she suggested, heading toward the refrigerator and extracting a carton of orange juice.

A shrug rolled off his broad shoulders. "Sure."

"Let me just get the glasses." She made her way around the island, leaning into one corner of the countertop while rising onto her toes and reaching into the cabinet, searching for the glasses.

"Here, let me," he offered, gallant as he was, and hovered behind her, his body heat mingling with hers while he reached over her head.

Kirsten stood perfectly still as she felt his hard body slide against hers, one hand absently finding her hip while the other continued its search through the cabinet. "Ah, here we go," he announced in a whisper, and pulled two glasses down. "Found them."

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, concentrating on where his hand was touching her hip, warmth transferring through her silk robe and nightie. She felt like one of those crystal balls one finds in a novelty shop -- the kind that emanate ultraviolet waves of electricity, instantly attracted to where it is touched. Electricity coursed through her system, gathering where Ryan's hand rested innocently on her hip.

She shouldn't be feeling like this, she was well aware of such a fact. Ryan was not only twenty-plus years her junior, but he was now... technically... in her care. Attraction just couldn't be in the cards. Though, as much as she told herself this, she was powerless to stop being attracted to him. There was just something about him that had been there since they'd met.

And he cared for her, quite a bit from what she could tell. He was truly interested in the kind of work she did -- something nobody had ever really attempted to fake an interest in. He defended her honor, and even took quite the beating while doing so. And, according to his own mother, Dawn Atwood... he looked at her a certain way. Yes, Ryan cared... very much.

But was it too much? She couldn't help but wonder; wonder if he was feeling the same electricity every time they came in contact... anytime their bodies were even remotely close to touching. And she couldn't help but wonder about the looks he gave her -- about what exactly went through his head every time he looked at her. Was Dawn right in her assumption? Did he look at her with the adoration ayoung manwould feel for a maternal figure? Or was there something more than just adoration in his eyes?

"Sorry," he whispered in her ear again, and removed his hand from her hip but made no move to step away from her. Instead, he placed his hand on the countertop.

Kirsten's heart bumped up into her throat at the realization -- she was pinned. He had one hand on either side of her waist, pressed against the counter, while he just hovered behind her. She felt his gaze on her hair... her neck... and when she backed up a step, she gulped at the hardness that was now making itself known against the small of her back.

She spun in the minute space between his arms and met his eyes in shock. Even in the dim moonlight, she saw the blues of his eyes darken... saw his pupils dilate. His gaze drifted to her lips and she parted them unconsciously. This was about to go over the line. This was so dangerously close to crossing the line. What was it about the night that erased any inhibitions?

As if tuned in to her thoughts, Ryan posed a low, raspy question: "What happens to the air after midnight that makes everybody lose their inhibitions?"

She drew in a shuddering breath, taking a step back when he took a step forward, only to find herself now trapped, completely, against the counter. "I don't know," she whispered, keeping her voice as level as she could, though with his proximity that proved to be quite a daunting task. "It's just something about the night," she found the strength to utter, "it makes everybody feel out of control."

"Mm."

Her eyes slid closed as she felt him advance one more miniscule step, their bodies connecting from toe to pelvis, his arms still keeping her trapped against the counter. "I gotta say, Kirsten..."

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes and nearly startled at how close his face now was to hers.

Each of his hands slid inward, his forearms now touching her waist, locking her where she was. Her hands drifted to his arms of their own volition, fingertips tingling at the sensation of his bare biceps. He gently thrust himself against her, his lips finding the outer shell of her ear as he replied, "I'm starting to really enjoy the night."

Kirsten was barely able to let out a whimper as he dragged his lips down her jawline and claimed her mouth, his hands leaving the counter to grasp her hips, feeling over the silky material of her robe. She gasped against his lips and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, the slow, seductive glide of his tongue against hers turning her legs to jello.

So it _was_ more than adoration in his eyes when he looked at her. That became even more evident when his fingers suddenly dug into her hips and he lifted her in one swift motion, depositing her on the countertop without breaking contact with her lips and tongue. She moaned into his mouth when he pulled her closer, cupping her buttocks in each hand and sliding her toward him. A gasp escaped her lips when his length met her center through their pajamas.

Ryan was the first to break the intense kiss, only to move to her neck, brushing the hair aside gently before latching onto the taut skin. Kirsten bucked against him in response, her fingers threading through the short-cropped hair at the nape of his neck... encouraging him.

"Please."

Was that _her_ voice, crippled and desperate, begging him to take it further? She wasn't sure until he moaned his response into the hollow of her shoulder, his hands sliding across her hips and inward to untie the sash on her robe.

This couldn't be happening. She shouldn't allow it to be happening. And yet, she felt no urge whatsoever to stop it. He felt amazing against her, around her... and knew he'd feel even more incredible inside her. Illicit or not, she wanted him; hell, it was far past that. She needed him. He was her energy, the electricity sparking her soul back to life. He was as much of a necessity to her now as oxygen.

Once the sash was untied, Ryan gently parted the sides of her robe, meeting her eyes as he slipped it from her shoulders, caressing her arms along the way. She shivered under both his touch and his appreciative stare, and reached out to cup the back of his neck, bringing him back to her for another searing kiss.

As their tongues dueled once more, Kirsten reached for the hem of the beater he wore so well, drawing it upward over his toned abdomen and pectorals... reluctantly breaking the kiss to pull it off him and toss it onto the island. Then, she let her eyes unabashedly wander his prone form, a wave of heat suddenly sliding down her spine, gathering at her core. She ached for him.

He shyly flushed at her appreciation and pulled her close, his smiling lips mirroring hers before they fell into another heated kiss. What was most disconcerting to Kirsten about this whole thing was... it didn't feel wrong. Not in the slightest. There was nothing awkward about the way they kissed and touched... no regret or guilt glimmered in their eyes. It was only passion -- and a blinding one, at that -- fueling the motion of their limbs, their lips.

Ryan slipped the spaghetti-straps of her silk nightie off her shoulders, bending his head to plant tender kisses to her moonlit skin. Kirsten let loose a hum in the back of her throat at the sensation and raked her fingers through his hair, waves of love and lust alternately washing over her. This was _not_ wrong. Quite the opposite.

She jumped slightly, startled out of her reverie when his hands found her knees, gliding upward... taking the hem of her nightie with him as he went. He slipped his hands under the silken material and rubbed his thumbs over the waistband of her panties, pulling his head back to silently ask permission. She granted it with another kiss, this one soft, tender... affectionate pecks exchanged between her lips and his while she lifted her hips and let him tug her underwear down.

Ryan caressed her thighs with one hand as he moved the scrap of material down her legs with the other, letting it dangle around one ankle. He then slipped one hand up her leg, past her knee and in, teasing the soft skin of her inner thigh with light, tickling caresses of his fingertips. Kirsten shuddered and thrust her tongue back into his open mouth, cupping his face. When his fingers touched her core, she whimpered his name.

The simple sound seemed to spur him into action, for he quickly lowered his sleep pants just far enough to expose himself, and tugged her close again, planting kisses just below her ear. "There's no going back from here," he whispered, tugging the lobe between his teeth while he stroked her hips.

She nodded and hugged him close, a small smile flitting across her lips at the realization -- he was giving her one last out. "I know," she whispered back, kissing his cheek while she continued to hug him tight. She pulled away and stared deep into his eyes, letting him see what she really wanted. "I don't want to go back. I need you."

His lips parted on a silent groan, and he slipped inside her with one little push. Her eyes widened and she gasped at the sudden pressure coiling inside her, threatening to splinter her in half. He was... anatomically gifted, moreso than she'd expected, and it had been awhile for her, to say the least. She heard him panting with the exertion of holding back for her, and she pulled him close, kissing him gently to let him know he could continue.

Ryan went slow, pushing further inside inch by inch until he was completely sheathed within her... and for a moment, he just remained completely still, staring into her half-lidded eyes. Then, he pulled almost completely out of her before sinking in slowly again... and Kirsten shuddered against him, her legs locking around his waist.

He began to move while still holding her gaze, his breath coming out in short puffs with every thrust. "I can't... believe... this is happening," came his awed exhalation. "You feel... so good."

"Oh God, Ryan," she whispered, her lips straining for his.

Their tongues met and he quickened his pace. Kirsten grunted her approval as she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, marking him. His groan was swallowed by their kiss before he pulled away to latch on to her shoulder, sucking the skin into his mouth.

She gasped and dug into him even harder, moving her hips in tandem with his. "Ryan... so close..." she managed to get out, mind spinning as her body steadily climbed toward euphoria.

"Me too," he grunted softly.

The sound of his voice, dripping with lust, coupled with the feeling of him inside her drove Kirsten promptly over the edge. She clutched at him desperately as her mouth dropped in a silent scream, one which Ryan quickly covered with his lips while she shuddered against him. One last thrust and he toppled over the edge with her, a long, breathy moan cascading past his lips and into her mouth as he pulsed inside her.

They then slumped bonelessly together, still entwined, back against the cabinets. Kirsten held him tight as she breathed deeply through her nose, eyes slipping closed while she willed her heartbeat to resume its normal pace. Ryan slid his hands up and down her back, rubbing gently before pulling away to look into her eyes.

When she met his own, her heart lurched at the sadness she found there. A vertical crease appeared between her eyebrows, and she touched his cheek. "What?"

"Things are seen differently during the day than at night," he responded, somber. His eyes flitted everywhere on the counter, as if searching for something other than her to stare at.

"Ryan..."

He lifted his eyes to hers once more, and she gave a gentle smile. "I wouldn't have let this happen if I didn't want it to happen. I hope you know that."

Ryan nodded, ducking his head until she grasped his chin and forced him to look at her. She held his gaze... "And whatever tomorrow brings, I will not regret this. Will you?"

He swallowed, hard, and shook his head vehemently, his voice a hushed whisper. "No. No, of course not. I've wanted this since--"

"Kirsten?"

Sandy's sleep-addled voice floated down from the stairs, and Kirsten gently lay a finger against Ryan's lips, both of them completely still. "Yeah?"

"Honey, where are you? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I just came down for some juice, Sandy. I'll be right up. Go back to bed."

They remained frozen in their places as they listened to the sound of Sandy's footfalls going back toward the master bedroom, before Kirsten took her finger from Ryan's lips and both sighed in relief. She threw him an apologetic look. "I should get back up there."

He nodded, helping her down from the counter and watching as she redressed. He did the same, resituating his sleep pants on his hips and retrieving his beater from the island, pulling it over his head. The pair stared at each other for a moment before Kirsten leaned in, kissing him softly, laying her hand over his still-calming heart. "Get some sleep," she whispered, to which he smiled ironically.

"I'll try."

She spun around once she reached the doorway. "The juice. I almost forgot--"

"I'll put everything away," he promised with a smile, and turned to put the glasses back in the cabinet.

Kirsten smiled at his back, visually caressing him one last time before turning on her heel and heading toward the stairs... moonlight guiding her way.

TBC

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_Whaddya think? Those of you that hate Rysten, I already know what you think -- and yes, it makes me giggle. Profusely. I'm **more** interested in what the enlightened ones think -- the true Rysten fans. How about another chapter?_

_P.S. Apologies for any formatting errors. I attempted to fix this document in my doc manager, yet didn't seem to want to pay attention to that. (:shrug:) Sorry! _


	2. In Daylight

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER TWO: "In Daylight"  
SPOILERS/RATING/SUMMARY: See chapter one.

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"Dude, you look like hell."

A sardonic tone and dark curly hair was the first thing to greet Ryan Atwood as he stepped into the Cohen kitchen, nodding a greeting at the one who'd addressed him. "Thanks, Seth."

"Seriously. Did you get _any_ sleep last night?"

"Barely." He plopped unceremoniously onto one of the barstools, grabbing the box of Cap'n Crunch out of Seth's hands, ignoring the feigned indignant expression sent his way.

Seth nodded knowingly. "This whole Marissa thing's takin' a toll on you, huh?"

"Yeah..." He looked up and met Kirsten's eyes as she entered the kitchen, then quickly averted them as he added, "something like that."

"Morning, guys," Kirsten exhaled with a bright smile, reaching into the refrigerator for the carton of orange juice, then promptly freezing and staring at it... almost as if reliving the previous night's events.

Ryan felt his face flush and he ducked his head, scooping spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth, reliving last night right along with her. It had been almost dreamlike -- running into her in the kitchen, helping her get the glasses down from the cupboard and feeling the palpable electricity... then allowing the moonlight to whisk away their inhibitions and allow them to just act. It had been amazing.

Kirsten Cohen was an extremely beautiful woman. In fact, upon being introduced to his attorney's wife, that was the first thing to pop into Ryan's head -- 'My God, so beautiful.' The large, jovial azure eyes were what had attracted Ryan first, as did the sun-kissed golden hair... not to mention her knee-buckling smile and adorable, pert little nose. She was thin, lithe with long legs, yet still slightly petite... and walked with the grace of a dancer. She was sharp and vivacious, warm and kind-hearted... fiercely protective of her family.

Ryan knew becoming attracted to her would be playing with fire, especially that he was now legally under her care, but he couldn't help it. Since the first moment, he'd been drawn to Kirsten... to the energy that exuded from her. He didn't dare dream until last night that the attraction had been mutual. He just hoped and prayed that Seth or, God forbid, Sandy couldn't see in his eyes how deeply he felt for her. His own mother knew, on some level, that he cared for Kirsten. She'd called him on it during their walk on the beach not so long ago... before she walked out of his life again:

_"Ryan, I see the way you look at her."_

"Who?"

_"Kirsten." Dawn had chuckled grimly to herself. "I wish you and Trey could've looked at me like that."_

_"How do I look at her?" he'd asked, more out of curiosity for what others could see than anything else._

_She'd thrown her arms up in the air, exaggerating her shrug, before letting them fall to her sides again, her focus on the sand beneath them. "Like she's just the most amazing woman on the entire planet. Like when your world falls to pieces, you know that she'll help you put it back together again." She had shaken her head. "And I'm so sorry you never had that with me, babe. I really am."_

_Ryan had sighed out in relief, though he masked it as sorrow for his complicated relationship with his mother. So she hadn't noticed **everything** about how he looked at Kirsten Cohen. He was safe._

"Ryan? Ryan... Come in, Ryan."

Ryan's eyes widened as he snapped out of his reverie, spotting the hand now waving in front of his face. When it disappeared, he was met with the concerned and slightly confused gaze of Sandy Cohen. "You alright, kid?"

"Umm..." He shook his head as if shaking off a trance, blinking a few times in an attempt to focus. Unfortunately, when he'd gained his focus, it centered on none other than Kirsten, who was regarding him somewhat shyly over the rim of her coffee mug. Ryan looked back to Sandy. "Actually, uh, I'm not feeling so great today. Would you guys mind if I stayed home?"

Seth immediately clutched his arm in desperation. "No way, dude. You are not leaving me alone at school. If you do, I'll have to attempt to sort out this whole Summer-and-Anna thing, and I just don't think I have the strength for that today."

Ryan shot him a look, and Sandy enquired, "Are you feeling sick? You look like you haven't slept in days."

"See?" Seth continued jabbering around another mouthful of cereal. "Told ya you looked like hell."

"I just, uh... I didn't sleep well lastnight." His gaze flitted to Kirsten's briefly before settling on the now-soggy cereal in front of him. He heard her clear her throat but didn't dare look up.

"Sandy, I think just this once it would be okay for him to stay home... don't you? He can catch up on his sleep and be back on his feet by tomorrow."

Sandy nodded. "Alright," he agreed, then turned to raise a stern finger at Ryan, "but no monkey business. No skippin' outta here to go see Marissa, no video games. Just sleep. Okay?"

Ryan nodded once. "I promise."

"Alright." Sandy checked his watch, then sprang into sudden animation, first slapping his son on the shoulder. "Seth, have fun with your throngs of female admirers..." he grinned at the facetious glare sent to him by Seth, then leaned in to kiss Kirsten. "My lovely wife, have a great day at work..."

Ryan averted his eyes as Sandy continued to give Kirsten small pecks on the cheeks and lips while she giggled under the attention. His jaw clenched unconsciously, and he stood abruptly, the legs of his barstool loudly skidding against the tile as it was pushed back. He brought his cereal bowl to the sink, his peripheral vision catching Kirsten gently, but playfully, pushing Sandy away. "Leave now or you'll be late," she chided him softly and kissed him once more.

Ryan's jaw clenched again, teeth gritting together. "Thanks for letting me stay home," he managed, keeping his eyes away from the happily married couple.

"Just get to feeling better, huh kid?" With that, Sandy gave his wife one more kiss, grabbed his briefcase, and headed off.

Ryan finished rinsing his bowl and put it in the dishwasher, shutting it a bit harder than necessary and studiously ignoring Kirsten's gaze. He turned when Seth joined him at the sink, dumping his own cereal bowl in there and leaving it for Ryan to clean with a pat to his back. "Have fun playing hooky, slacker," he quipped, and grabbed his school books off the table before bidding his mother farewell and heading out the door.

After quickly rinsing Seth's bowl and shoving it in the dishwasher, Ryan made for the patio doors, barely tossing a glance at Kirsten. "I'm going to go get some sleep," he muttered, and slammed the door behind him, stalking back to the poolhouse.

Upon entering, he flopped face-forward onto the bed, burying his face in his pillow. It didn't take more than five minutes for Kirsten to burst through the door... "Ryan--"

"You're gonna be late for work," he grumbled into his pillow, and didn't even flinch when he felt the mattress dip beside him... though he _did_ flinch when he felt the heat of Kirsten's hand on his back through his shirt.

"I called and told them I wouldn't be in until this afternoon. Maybe we should talk."

"Nothing to talk about," he mumbled, only turning over when he heard the sounds of the blinds on every window being drawn. He spotted her leaning her forehead against the now-closed blinds... one hand grasping the cord while the other rested on the window frame.

"Ryan, let's not do this," she pleaded softly, and spun to face him, folding her arms over her stomach.

He pushed himself up onto his elbows, shrugging facially. "I wasn't doing anything."

Kirsten sighed and began to pace around the spacious poolhouse, fully aware of Ryan's intense gaze following her every move. "We knew things would be different today." She gestured to him with an upturned palm. "You said it yourself -- there was no going back. There still _is_ no going back, nor do I _want_ to."

"I knew there was no going back, Kirsten." He slowly sat up and scooted toward the foot of the bed, bending his knees and draping his arms over them. "I knew things would be different, too. I guess I was just... unprepared for watching you kiss him. Repeatedly."

Her arms were folded across her midsection again, a shrug rolling her slender shoulders. "He's my husband, Ryan. If I cut him off from any and all affection just like that," she snapped her fingers, "he'll suspect something's up immediately."

"I know." He dropped his chin to his chest and massaged his forehead briefly with one hand, his eyes squeezing shut as he willed his jealousy to wane. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." The mattress dipped again and she was suddenly beside him, their bodies connecting from shoulder to hip as she sat close to him, angling her body toward him in a request for eye contact.

He granted it, and relaxed slightly at her serene smile. "Ryan, about what you were saying last night... before we were interrupted..."

Ryan fought hard to remember. The only images conjured by the words 'last night' were the two of them, fused together, inhibitions out the window as they let the moon guide their bodies. "Yeah?"

"'You've wanted this since...'" She stared at him expectantly, laying a hand on his arm for encouragement.

"Since I met you," he finished solemnly, and ducked his head, still able to feel her gaze.

"Ryan..." Her hand found his face, drawing his eyes up so their blues could meld once again. She smiled. "Not all things are seen differently during the day. I still see you like I did last night... like I've seen you since you first stepped into this house."

Any other thought about to be spoken was left unsaid as Ryan leaned in and captured her lips, slanting his mouth across hers and tilting his head to the right as his left hand reached to cup her face. Kirsten's hand covered his wrist and she sighed, parting her lips when his tongue begged access to her mouth. They lowered in tandem to the bed on their sides, and his hand left her face to cover her hip as he maneuvered her partway beneath him... not once did they break the kiss.

He slipped his left leg between both of hers, and she gasped into his mouth as his thigh hit just the right spot. She moved against him and he pressed his thigh tighter against her, hoping to give her the friction she was searching for. He then propped himself up on his elbow and reached for the singular button on her fitted blazer with his free hand, popping it from its mooring effortlessly.

Ryan broke away from her lips to pepper soft kisses down her jawline, toward her ear, where he took the lobe between his teeth, the exhale through his nose making her practically convulse against him. He smiled to himself, pleased with having discovered one of Kirsten's erogenous zones, and went to work on the tiny buttons of the silk shirt she wore beneath her blazer. Once he had all the buttons undone, he parted her shirt, letting out a soft gasp at the sight of the black lace bra underneath.

Kirsten smiled and flicked her hair out of her eyes. "What was that you said about being late for work?"

He grinned right back. Things _were_ different in the daylight. At night, whereas she was wanton and desperate for his body... in daylight, Kirsten Cohen was a tease. "What was that you said about not going in until this afternoon?" He licked from the rim of her bottom lip to her top, smiling all the wider when her lips fell open in response and their tongues played in the air between them. "Way I see it," he breathed between deep, wet kisses, "we've got a few good hours to kill."

She giggled and sat up slightly, allowing him to pull off both her blazer and shirt before he laid her back against the pillows again. "I thought you promised Sandy you'd stay in bed."

He raised his eyebrow in a challenge and pinned her wrists above her head, his voice lowering into the bass register. "I haven't _left_ the bed, have I."

She feigned giving it a moment's thought. "Hmm. You make a good point."

"Thank you." He lowered his head to collarbone then, popping open the front clasp of her bra before adoring her with his lips, tongue and teeth.

Kirsten moaned and gasped, her body jerking at the sensations, and he hummed against her skin as he traveled lower, placing open-mouthed kisses around her navel before unbuttoning her pants. Once the zipper was lowered, Ryan took his time guiding the pants and her underwear down her long legs, admiring her body as he did so.

To him, last night had been all about lust... fiery passion lit by the spark that had been there since they'd met. In daylight, he wanted to make it about love; his deep admiration for, and devotion to, the beautiful blonde. He kissed her lips with need but kept things slow, undressing both her and himself completely before reaching for the sheet and drawing it over them.

He braced himself on the bed with his right hand while he hovered over her, caressing her body with his left as he stared into her eyes. "We didn't use any protection last night," he murmured.

Kirsten smiled, then promptly gasped when she felt his fingers against her most intimate of areas, testing her readiness. "I've had a tubal ligation," she managed to get out, and gave him a breathless smile, "so hit me with your best shot."

He slid into her in one, smooth stroke, plunging deep. She gasped loudly and arched her back, pushing her hips down to take more of him inside. "So good," she exhaled, and placed her hands on his hips as he began to move within her. Her head lolled back, deep into the pillows, as he thrust hard and hit a sensitive spot deep inside her... a warbling whimper then cascading from her lips when he pulled out.

The sounds she made were causing Ryan's head to spin, and he sped up his movements accordingly, being rewarded with a low growl of approval. He felt her release approaching... could hear it in her moans, could sense it in the way her inner walls rhythmically pulsed around him... and he reached between them, finding the bundle of nerves at her center with his fingers. With a few quick flicks of his finger, she was gone, crying out unabashedly and thrashing her head on the pillow. Seeing her like that... so wild... triggered Ryan's release as well, and he followed Kirsten into that heavenly abyss, their bodies still one as they rode out the waves together.

Completely spent and fully sated, he collapsed on top of her and she welcomed him by twining her arms and legs around his body, holding him against her. "I'm not crushing you?" he mumbled into her breasts.

She laughed, causing his head to bob up and down in time with the spasms of her chest. "No, Ryan, you're not crushing me. Stay."

"This is my bed," he murmured, his exhaustion-laden eyelids slipping closed, "I kinda have to stay."

Kirsten kissed the top of his head and buried her nose in his hair momentarily, appreciating the wonderful potpourri of his shampoo combined with the musk from their lovemaking. She hummed against him, "I meant stay right where you are. Feels good."

He wrapped his arms around her possessively. "Only if you stay where you are. You feel pretty damn good, too."

"I promise," she murmured, and her alto vow was the last thing Ryan heard before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

TBC 


	3. Reflection

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER THREE: Reflection  
RATING: PG-13 (or T), for this chapter. Mildy-mild.  
SPOILERS, SUMMARY, etc.: See chapter one.

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Kirsten had waited for Ryan to fall completely asleep before she regretfully untangled herself from him and dressed haphazardly, heading back to the house. Once inside the master bedroom, she undressed again and threw her rumpled clothes into the hamper, stepping into her closet in only her bra to find something new. She found something satisfactory and pulled it on, then left the walk-in closet and shut the door behind her, heading over to the mirror.

She met her reflection's eyes and stopped; stared. Her reflection's eyes were twinkling... glittering, even... and her face was flushed and glowing. She reached up to touch her cheeks and watched her mirror-image do the same. A smile spread unconsciously, and then she began to laugh. When was the last time she had looked in the mirror and liked what she saw? Liked it enough, even, to stand and stare?

Just days before, she knew, if she were standing in front of this very mirror, she'd see harsh lines... slowly-forming wrinkles... crow's feet surrounding dull, pale blue eyes. She'd see a real estate tycoon too insecure to step out from under Daddy's wing and live her own life, do her own work. She'd see the rapidly-aging mother of a seventeen-year-old boy, and an ice cold matriarch unwilling to let in an outsider -- the wife of an attorney who'd grown so comfortable in her own marriage, she was going numb.

Today? Today, what she saw was unbelievable. She still spotted a few wrinkles here and there, marking stressful moments in her life... but she also saw laugh lines. Crinkles of happiness at the corners of two incredibly bright, cerulean eyes. She saw a strong working woman with a seventeen-year-old son -- she saw the kind soul that reached out to the outsider. What she saw was beautiful.

Kirsten nearly gasped aloud at the implication, lips parting as she looked from her reflection to the glass doors behind her, the poolhouse in view on the other side of the infinity pool. She looked back to the mirror and stared at herself long and hard once more -- studied herself. She was seeing herself through Ryan's eyes.

Her heart swelled, and then sunk promptly. She lowered her head. Twice she'd been with him, and he was already so deep inside her soul that she could look at herself as he saw her. She knew their attraction had been strong, but this? This, she couldn't categorize. She couldn't recognize that which she'd never felt before.

----------------

Kirsten had managed to tear herself away from the mirror in just enough time to run a brush through her hair, pop a mint in her mouth, and rush out the door for the Newport Group. She made it there in one piece, more or less, though her mind had been somewhere else the entire time. Her mind was still in the poolhouse, still content beneath the sheets with her young lover.

"Kirsten? It's about time!"

She froze in her tracks, cup of to-go coffee in one hand and briefcase in the other while she stared at the woman who, at times, she could just barely call her friend. "Julie?"

Julie Cooper, Newport's resident wicked witch, raised her eyebrows and gave a bright, artificial smile as a greeting. "It's about time you showed up, I was getting worried!"

"What... are you doing here?" she asked, picking up the pace again and marching toward her office, rolling her eyes when Julie quickly followed on her heels. Kirsten turned over her shoulder as she breezed through her office door. "Did you and I have a meeting about something today?"

Julie smiled widely, her ice-blue eyes large and bright. "No, silly! I had asked you a week ago if you wanted to have lunch today... catch up!" She nearly pouted. "It seems like we never get to just hang out anymore."

Kirsten chuckled and set her briefcase on her desk, moving around one side to sit in the plush leather chair behind it. "Well, Julie, I've been sort of busy with work."

"I can see that!" Julie nodded, gesturing with an upturned palm toward Kirsten's seemingly frazzled state. "Too busy with work to actually come _in_ to work, huh?" She made herself comfortable in one of the office chairs and crossed her legs at the knee, one of her impossibly-expensive Jimmy Choo stilettos dangling from her foot. "What's going on with you, Kirs?"

"Nothing," she exhaled, fighting not to appear too nervous, and opened up her briefcase as a means of distracting herself from Julie's piercing stare.

"No, it's not nothing." Julie's eyes took in her friend's appearance, which she catalogued vocally. "Bright eyes... flushed face... definite signs of a self-satisfied grin trying to poke through..." She gasped. "You and Sandy snuck away for a _nooner_, didn't you?" Ignoring Kirsten's adamant head shaking, Julie reached out and playfully slapped her girl friend on the hand. "Well, way to go! Gotta keep things spicy! I remember after like five years, Jimmy and I needed some sprucing up in the bedroom, so we bought these handcuffs--"

Kirsten raised a hand. "Thanks. Julie. Thank you." She shook her head and returned her eyes to the file she'd pulled out of her briefcase, adding softly, "Sandy and I did not have a nooner."

Julie quirked one eyebrow. "Well you had sex with _somebody_." She raised her hands in surrender when she caught Kirsten's look. "Sorry, but... Kirsten," she chuckled, "do you think, after being friends for like twenty years, that I don't know what your 'I got some' face looks like? Look at you! You're glowing." She made a face. "I'm oddly almost.. jealous."

Kirsten huffed. "Look, could you please just drop this? I have a lot of work to do."

"Fine, I'll drop it," Julie sighed... then grinned devilishly, "if you'll come out to lunch with me." She immediately templed her hands together in a pleading gesture. "Oh come on, Kirsten! One lunch. On me, I promise."

"Alright, fine," she relented. "But only if you drop this line of conversation."

"Deal."

Kirsten nodded, then glanced to her phone as it began to ring. She reached for the receiver then hesitated, pulse quickening as she watched the phone number blinking on the screen. She glanced up at Julie. "Could you excuse me for just one second? I need to take this."

"Sure, no problem. I'll wait out in the hall." Julie rose, her stilettos making sharp clicks all the way out the door.

Kirsten glanced up to make sure she was out of sight before grabbing the receiver and pulling it to her ear, spinning her chair to face out the window. "Hi."

"Hey," came the low voice on the other end. "So, the weirdest thing happened..."

She grinned, and folded one arm across her chest while holding the phone to her right ear with the other. "Uh-huh...?"

"I woke up, and you weren't there. Where'd you go?"

Kirsten giggled softly. "Where do you _think_ I went?"

"Oh. Right." A pause ensued on the other end, before his voice caressed her auditory senses again, dipping low and causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. "Any chance you can duck out early?"

She hummed wistfully, then chuckled. "I showed up late enough as it is. Besides, I'll be home in just a few hours."

"I know, but... but then--"

"I know." Her smile fell as she finished the rest of his sentence. "But then, we won't be alone. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too," he sighed.

Upon remembering how she'd last left him, a devilish smirk curled her lips. "Y'know, if there's a chance that you're missing me just a little--"

"A _little_?" he chuckled, and she could sense him shaking his head at her.

Her smirk widened. "I left you a little present under your pillow."

"You did, huh?" He grew silent and her mind's eye watched him toss his pillow aside to retrieve what she'd left behind. "Whoa."

She grinned to herself. "I hoped you'd like it."

Her heart soared when she heard his laughter, her own rare gift direct from him. "Kirsten Cohen, you are such a tease."

"You don't know the half of it." She spun in her chair again just in time to see Julie Cooper pop back into the doorway, tapping her empty wrist in a silent plea to hurry up. She smiled into the phone. "Look, I gotta go, but I'll see you later?"

"Hope so. See ya."

Kirsten hung up and slowly drew her eyes up to meet Julie's, who was staring at her wide-eyed. "What the hell, girl? Lunch! Phone sex with Sandy can happen afterward."

She rolled her eyes and stood up, pushing her chair back with the backs of her knees. "Sandy is at work, Julie. And there is no phone sex whatsoever going on."

Julie mirrored the eye-roll. "Right. Okay. Can we go now, please? I'm starving, and I have to be at Alana's for my mani-pedi at three!"

Kirsten held up her index finger, "just one second, I have to visit the ladies' room. Then we can go." She disappeared into her private bathroom and shut the door softly behind her.

Julie, in the meantime, stared with narrow-eyed contemplation at the closed door before slowly making her way to Kirsten's desk. She leaned over it, staring down at the phone, and pressed the button for the caller ID. One eyebrow arched at the number that lit up the screen, and then she frowned, planting a fist on her hip as she glanced toward the door again.

Kirsten, meanwhile, had once more caught her reflection in the mirror, and couldn't help but smile brightly at it, chuckling and shaking her head at herself a moment later -- all this from a phone call.

She sighed. She was really in for it.

* * *

TBC 


	4. Wrong and Right

TITLE: The Sleepless

CHAPTER FOUR: Wrong and Right

RATING: PG-13 again, but don't worry -- more of that good Rystenlovin' on the way!

SPOILERS/SUMMARY/etc.: See chapter one.

-------------

Ryan laid on his back and stared at the ceiling for what felt like days, absently twirling Kirsten's panties on his finger. He found himself grinning up at the ceiling fan, then immediately shook his head at himself. Smiling? What the hell had gotten into him?

The answer, however, was unbearably simple: Kirsten. Kirsten had gotten into him. The past two interludes with her had been amazing... far beyond would most would consider mind-shattering sex. He'd been with some skilled lovers in the past... had been wowed by some very sexually-talented women, even... but none of them could hold a candle to Kirsten Cohen.

Because with them -- the others -- it _was_ just sex. What happened both times with Kirsten transcended that simple act. The second time he didn't even consider it to be sex -- in his heart and his mind, he believed he had made love to her. And that she enjoyed every moment of it.

He closed his eyes and could see her clearly -- her head thrown back against the pillow, mouthagape and crying out loudly while she marked him with her fingernails. He rubbed his lower back absently and could feel the sore spots, where his skin surely boasted pink crescent-shaped marks, beneath his shirt. He got to see her behave without abandon today... without thought to whether or not anyone could hear them, see them, anything.

Ryan knew he was falling in love with her -- was _already_ in love with her. He was smitten when she'd first waved a greeting at him, he was crushing hard when she hugged him in the livingroom all those weeks ago... and he fell completely under her spell the first moment he joined with her. But was she -- _could_ she be -- feeling the same things for him?

A knock on the door startled him from his reverie, followed by Seth's voice. "Dude, why are the blinds drawn? You're not naked in there, are you?"

He rolled his eyes at the remark and jumped to his feet, quickly shoving Kirsten's panties under his mattress, before beckoning his friend inside. "No, I'm not naked. Come in."

"Thank God. So, this Summer and Anna thing--"

Ryan held up a hand to halt Seth's rushed commentary. "Y'know? I'm not really in the mood for this today. I'm sorry."

"But we're talking about me, Ryan._ Me_. If I were bringing up your whole situation with Marissa and you said you weren't in the mood for it, that would be understandable. But Seth Cohen's women-juggling mishaps?" He clapped his hands together and pointed at Ryan. "That's just comedy gold, man. How can you not be up for that?"

"I'm just not." Ryan brushed past him to head for the kitchenette, pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge. He'd been fine all day... ecstatic, even... but the moment Seth Cohen came through the door, he was reminded of just how wrong this whole thing was. He closed his eyes painfully, counting down to the moment the questioning would start. Three... two... one...

"What's going on with you, man? You've been brooding silently moreso than usual the past couple days. Is this thing with Marissa really all that bad?"

"It's got nothing to do with Marissa, okay?"

"Well so you're pissed at Luke because she's back together with him?"

"It has nothing to do with Marissa OR Luke, alright? Just... leave it alone, Seth. Please."

"Okay..." Seth regarded him warily, brown eyes cataloguing the tension in Ryan's jaw, and the way his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. "I guess I'll just... see you at dinner." He gave a pseudo-wave then and made his exit, tossing a hurt and confused glance over his shoulder on the way out.

Ryan sighed and flopped back onto the bed, resuming his staring contest with the ceiling fan. What in the hell was he doing?

------------

"Mmm, I smell something wonderful coming from in here," Sandy called, already loosening his tie on his way into the kitchen, "so that automatically cancels out the possibility of Kirsten cooking."

Ryan glanced up and smiled at his guardian, that smile immediately falling when Kirsten walked into the room, glaring facetiously and lightly shoving her husband. "You just earned yourself a night of my cooking," she threatened, then pecked his cheek before turning to Seth, who was seated at the counter with a comic book. "Hi, sweetie." She kissed his cheek and rubbed his shoulders in a wide circle. "How are your girlfriends?"

Seth gave her a look, and placed his hand over his heart, "Mom, could you _please_ try to be a little supportive of the hell I'm going through?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Me be supportive of you stringing two girls along? What kind of a mother would I be if I did that?"

He mirrored the eyebrow-raise. "Umm, just the best one ever."

Kirsten smiled and shoved him lightly, as well. "Keep dreaming."

When her attention turned to Ryan, he gave a weak smile and turned back to his cooking, flicking the front burner off and bringing the pan over to the island, dividing its contents evenly between the four plates already set out. "Wow, you cooked!" She hummed a chuckle and patted his shoulder, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Glad I wasn't late coming home," she teased.

"Me too," he replied softly, though there was no hint whatsoever of teasing in his tone as he looked up at her.

A ghost of a smile flitted across her lips, and she glanced up to check that Sandy and Seth were immersed in a conversation before she leaned into Ryan again, pressing a feather-light kiss to his earlobe. "Missed you," she whispered.

"Did you?" He met her eyes, searching the calm blue irises before him.

"Yeah," she smiled at him, which quickly faded when she saw the look in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

He finished dishing up the plates and threw a furtive glance toward the two Cohen men, still deep in a debate over Seth's girl troubles, before he looked back up at Kirsten and gestured between them, holding her gaze. "_This_ is."

Ryan watched as a vertical crease appeared between her eyebrows, her mouth parting in shock. After another glance toward her husband and son, she whispered, "What? After today, how can you--"

"So are we eating, or what?" Seth interrupted, patting his stomach. "Because I think my digestive tract is about to fold in on itself pretty soon, here."

Kirsten and Ryan broke gaze, and Ryan cleared his throat, nodding to Seth. "Yeah, coming right up."

----------

Seth and Sandy kept up a running commentary-slash-debate on the Summer and Anna situation all during dinner, neither noticing the tense looks passing between Ryan and Kirsten. Ryan glanced up from cutting his chicken to find Kirsten peering at him over the rim of her wine glass, and when they met each other's eyes, she took a gulp of the red liquid in her glass and looked away, sighing.

He echoed her sigh, softer, and turned his attention back to his plate. His mind churned over what he'd said before they had sat down to eat, pondering her reaction to it. What they were doing was wrong... wasn't it? Morally, ethically... ? He'd never been so confused in his life. This situation was supposed to be cut-and-dry -- Kirsten was married and was his guardian... meaning it was wrong. However, the way it felt the couple times they'd been together posed quite the contradiction. Everything about them together felt so damn... natural. The electricity, the easy banter... the fit of their bodies.

Ryan fought not to let his head sink onto the table. This thing was so damn confusing, no matter how many times he ran it over in his mind. He looked up when he heard Kirsten's chair scoot back, and saw her reaching for the plates. "I think I'll rinse off the dishes now," she sighed, in a happy tone that to Ryan seemed a bit too forced.

He stood up as well and took her wrist holding the plate in his hand, meeting her gaze. "I'll do it."

She attempted a sweet smile that only came off as facetious, and somewhat cold. "Ryan, you so kindly made dinner for us, so _I'll_ do the dishes." She then gently, but firmly, yanked her arm out of his grasp.

He wasn't going to give up so easily. They needed to talk... again. "Well, then I'll help."

Kirsten threw him an almost dirty look over her shoulder while he followed her to the sink, and as she began filling the sink, Sandy's cell phone rang. "Yeah, Sandy Cohen. ...What? Not again. ...Alright, I'll be right down." He folded his phone shut and placed it in the pocket of his suit jacket, looking to Kirsten with raised eyebrows. "I gotta get to work."

"Now?" Ryan watched her eyes flit to the nearby clock. "It's six-thirty!"

Sandy threw his hands up in a shrug. "Sorry, honey, but this kid I've been workin' with just got thrown in jail with his third DUI this month." He made his way over to her and pressed a kiss to her cheek, promising he'd be home as soon as he could before waving goodbye to the guys and exiting.

"So!" Seth clapped his hands together once his father was gone. "Mother... Ryan... how about a nice after-dinner board game -- Parcheesi, perhaps?"

Ryan and Kirsten turned over their shoulders in unison, both giving Seth a look that caused him to wither just a bit. His eyebrows quirked. "Okay, well... since both of you are obviously in a little 'mood' tonight, I am going to go upstairs and hang with Captain Oats." He glanced between the two of them before adding, "I'll be less likely to get injured, that way."

Kirsten watched him go while Ryan focused his attention on the dishes in the sink... and once they were alone, they began to rinse them. For a few tense moments, Ryan could sense her eyes on him... could feel the hurt and anger emanating from her body. Finally, the silence broke. "How could you say that?" she whispered loudly. "After last night... after today!"

He turned to her, "because you're Seth's mom! You're Sandy Cohen's wife, and my--"

"Don't say it, Ryan," she spat, her voice laced with venom. "Don't even say that. I'm the same person now that I was this morning... that I was last night!" She turned over her shoulder surreptitiously again, making sure they were still alone. She then dropped her voice a little lower when Ryan met her eyes. "If you're regretting this... if you wanna end it, then--"

"I'm sorry, I'm just... not sure what to do, Kirsten. It's a complicated situation, you know that."

"Of course I know that!" she hissed.

He took his hands out of the water, droplets tripping down his arms as he held his hands up in a gesture of supplication. "Look, I don't wanna to fight with you. Maybe, for tonight, we should just... think everything through."

Ryan watched as the blonde beauty nodded slowly, swallowing hard. His eyes brieflytracked the swallow until it disappeared at her collarbone, her defeated whisper dragging his eyes back up to hers. "Fine."

She held his gaze, and his heart sunk to note her heavenly blue eyes had grown misty. They locked in a stare, Ryan looking remorseful while Kirsten looked a mix of angry, hurt, and rejected. He spoke softly, not wanting to spark her ire again. "I'll finish the dishes."

Kirsten continued to hold eye contact with him while she wiped her hands on a nearby dish towel and tossed it back onto the counter, before turning on her heel with a flick of her hair and striding out of the room.

Ryan watched her path of retreat sadly, then let out a huge sigh and dropped his chin to his chest.

TBC

-----------

_Less angst and more lovin' in the next chapter -- promise!_


	5. Moonbeams

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER FIVE: Moonbeams  
RATING: M once again, yay!  
SPOILERS/SUMMARY/etc.: See chapter one.

-----------

Kirsten stared numbly at the slow revolutions of the ceiling fan while she laid on her back in bed, hands folded over her stomach. She slowly rotated her head to the right, gaze instantly falling on the deeply-slumbering form of her husband, soft snores rising from the back of his throat. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled it as softly as possible, turning to look at the fan again.

Her thoughts drifted to Ryan... what he'd said at dinner. How wrong it was. She couldn't seem to wrap her mind around that word, however -- 'wrong.' She was cheating on Sandy, yes... committing adultery. Yet, the more she'd been around Sandy lately, the more she realized their marriage had become more friendship than passion. What she had with Ryan was passionate. It was tangible and real, exhilirating, and... dammit, it was right. It felt right.

Ryan was so wrong. That's what she decided as she crept out of bed in her long, champagne-colored silk nightgown. He's wrong. That's what she repeated as she pulled on her matching silk robe and tied the sash. 'He is so wrong.' She stared at Sandy, checking for any sign of movement from him, then slipped out the glass doors of the master bedroom... her form bathed in moonlight, heading for the poolhouse.

Kirsten slipped inside quietly, slowly shutting the door before turning toward the bed. Ryan laid asleep on his back, wearing just his boxers, his chest rising and falling steadily. Her lips curled into a smile as she watched the moonbeams dance across his face, his voice echoing in her head: 'What happens to the air after midnight that makes everybody lose their inhibitions?' She kept her eyes on him as she untied her robe and slipped it off her shoulders, leaving a puddle of champagne silk on the floor while she advanced toward the bed.

It was upon hearing her robe hit the floor that Ryan's eyes fluttered open, voice sleep-clogged as he called out, "Hello?"

"Shh. It's me." She cat-crawled onto the bed, over his body, as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Kirsten?"

She nodded, knowing he could sense the movement in the near-dark. "Yeah."

"What are you doing he--"

Her lips cut him off as she kissed him aggressively, the momentum nudging his head back against the pillows. He responded eagerly, hands rubbing over the silk on her hips as she moved to straddle him. She broke away. "I'm here to prove you wrong." She kissed him deeply again. "There's nothing," kiss, "for us," kiss, "to think about." She captured his lower lip, holding it hostage between her teeth as the tip of her tongue stroked its fullness.

Ryan moaned and cupped her face, kissing her deeply. When she broke away again, this time it was to move her kisses down his neck. She felt his eyes slide closed at the contact and he twined his fingers through her golden tresses as she planted kisses on his chest. "But there _are_ things to think about," he breathed, starting to pant when she traced around his navel with her tongue, moving lower still. "You're married. Your son is my age." He unconsciously lifted his hips when she started pulling at his boxers, though he continued to babble. "Let's face it, this is so, so--"

She caressed him with her mouth and he cried out, "oh God, so amazing." His mouth opened and closed on unformed words while he alternated between threading his fingers through her hair, and balling the sheet in his fists. "Kirsten... Kirs..." he managed to pant.

Kirsten opened her eyes and watched his reactions, knowing he was close. Just as he neared the breaking point, he grasped her hair and pulled her up, "no," and she lifted her head worriedly.

He threw her a rakish grin in response and tugged her up toward him, lips straining for hers. Their mouths connected in a deep, fiery kiss, and he expertly rolled her beneath him. He pulled away and stared into her eyes. "I wanna be inside you."

She smiled. "Absolutely. On one condition."

"What's that?"

He let out a surprised chuckle as she rolled them again, just as expertly, as she pulled her nightgown off over her head. "That you let me be on top this time," she whispered, and tossed the garment somewhere behind her.

Ryan grinned and grasped her hips, then immediately let out a long groan as she slid down on him, taking him inside. "Anything for you, Kirsten," he breathed.

She shivered both at the raw lust in his voice and the words uttered, and she began to move against him, slowly. He held her hips to guide her motion, rocking his own hips against hers to push deeper. Kirsten threw her head back and groaned, moonbeams dancing off her neck and across her body. "Tell me this is wrong, Ryan."

"Not wrong," he grunted, revelling in the sound of her keening, "so right. So damn right."

"Mmm." She swooped down to capture his lips, first in an aggressive kiss, then slowing to tease him with tiny pecks. With her body slanted toward him, every thrust against him hit her in just the right spot, sending whimpers and incoherent babble tumbling from her lips. She thought she'd said his name a few times, but in her haze, she couldn't be sure. All she knew was that she was fastly being driven toward that peak, that euphoria she was becoming addicted to.

"Oh God, Ryan, I'm--"

"Me too," he panted, and she gasped as his fingers dug into her hips even harder, speeding up her motions.

After one more thrust, Kirsten was gone, and as her mouth opened on a scream, Ryan grabbed her by the neck and slanted his mouth over hers, swallowing her cries. Without allowing her to calm, he wrapped an arm tight around her waist and flipped them over, his body blanketing hers as he began moving again feverishly.

She gasped loudly as he hit a sensitive spot deep inside, a spot long-neglected, and threw her head back as she felt another climax approaching. Ryan covered her exposed neck with kisses and she held him tight against her, raking her fingernails down his back. "So right," she heard him whispering again amidst various other utterings... her name laced somewhere within.

Kirsten voiced her agreement in a whisper, then gasped when he drew her over the edge again. He kissed her once more to swallow her cries, and she felt his body practically vibrating with the force of his release as he suddenly groaned, pulsing inside her.

They collapsed together against the bed and Kirsten smiled, recognizing they were in the same position that they were in earlier that morning. Or... yesterday morning. She shook away her rationalizations. Who cared what the hell day it was, anyway, as long as Ryan kept making her feel like this. She could have easily forgotten her name if that had gone on much longer.

She whimpered in disappointment when he pulled away and dropped to the mattress beside her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her against him... his chest warming her sweat-dusted back. Her eyes slid closed in both complete satisfaction and bodily exhaustion, a hum escaping her lips when she felt him bend his head and kiss along the crook of her neck. "You were right," he whispered in her ear, giving an affectionate tug on the lobe.

Kirsten smiled with eyes still closed and snuggled further back against him. "You're damn right I was right," she teased, grinning all the wider when his chuckle tickled her ear. She counted the beats of his heart while it thumped against her back, wondering if he was falling asleep.

"And I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Kirsten. I didn't mean it. It's just..." He sighed, nuzzling into her hair, voice coming out muffled. "This whole thing is so damn complicated. I was just trying to do the right thing."

She covered the arm thrown around her waist with her own, her fingers rubbing his. "I know you were," she assured him, and laced their fingers together only so she could bring his hand up to her lips. She kissed his knuckles. "But as complicated as this is... I'm happy, Ryan." She turned slightly over her shoulder to smile at him. "And I get the feeling that you are, too. I mean... I've heard you _laugh_ -- honest-to-God laugh."

He chuckled and leaned up slightly to nibble at her lips, sighing against them. "You're right."

"And I feel I should break this to you now -- I'm always right."

She felt her heart soar when he laughed that beautiful laugh again, his eyes twinkling in the silvery light of the moonbeams.

-----------

Kirsten awoke slowly to the sounds of frogs and crickets, noisily announcing their presence just outside the poolhouse. She cracked one eye open and looked outside, noting the midnight-blue sky had lightened to royal blue. She smiled slightly and sunk back against the warm body behind her.

The sun would be coming up soon. Sandy and Seth would be getting up just short hours afterward... and she and Ryan would go through their second day of pretending nothing was going on between them. She sighed, then flipped herself gently over in the circle of Ryan's arms, studying his face. In sleep, contentment hugged his features, and Kirsten couldn't help but reach out and touch him gently.

She ran her fingertips across his closed eyelids, teasing the softness of his eyelashes. She then traced his pronounced nose. He'd once mentioned that he hated his nose... that it was too big. She had told him that it suited him, that it added to his charm. He had then bestowed upon her one of those rare, bright Ryan Atwood smiles. She cocked her head slightly as she thought, that might've been the first day he made her heart really skip a beat.

She was happy. As was he. Under the veil of night, it was just the two of them... they could be happy together then. But when the sun rose above the horizon, reality set in and they would have to once again deal with the complications arising from such an illicit relationship. Tiptoeing around Sandy and Seth wasn't exactly fun for her -- until she was with him, of course -- and she guessed it was the same for him with Sandy and Seth... not to mention Marissa.

Marissa. She hadn't really allowed to let the Cooper girl invade her thoughts until now, but... what would happen with Ryan and Marissa? Kirsten felt a pang, a sudden stab to her heart as she realized... eventually, she may not be able to compete with Marissa Cooper. She knew Ryan had his eye on her since the beginning, but her drama with Luke and her parents had kept them apart. Would it eventually get to a point where nothing would be able to keep them apart? Not even Kirsten herself?

She drifted out of her reverie when she felt his body shifting, and she brought her eyes up to his just as they fluttered open. A lazy smile immediately plucked at his lips. "Hey."

"Hi." She leaned in for a gentle kiss. "Good morning."

He moaned and stretched, removing his arms from her body only briefly to do so before enfolding her in them again, drawing her against him for a hug as they both still laid on their sides. "What time is it?"

Kirsten smiled and pressed a kiss to his collarbone while looking over his shoulder, at the clock on his bedside table. "Four-thirty-eight."

"Mmm. And Sandy wakes up when?"

She grinned. "Five-forty-five." She then quirked an eyebrow. "What about Seth?"

"Oh, he won't drag himself out of bed until the last possible moment."

She giggled, and watched her fingertips trip down his arm and back up, squeezing his hard bicep. "So that means we've got a little time..."

He grinned at her and her pulse quickened accordingly at the sight. "Oh really? Have something in mind?" His hand drifted down the side of her body, past her hip to her thigh, grasping it and drawing her leg over his waist.

Kirsten leaned in for another kiss. "I probably have the same thing in mind that you do."

Ryan stroked the leg thrown over him and inched closer. "I bet."

He kissed her as he joined with her a second time, and they made love facing each other on their sides... savoring the sensations until the sun began to peek over the horizon.

TBC


	6. Mrs Robinson

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER SIX: Mrs. Robinson  
RATING: PG-13 for this one  
SPOILERS/SUMMARY/etc.: See chapter one.  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: At this point, I will be starting to deviate from the actual show storyline, relationship-wise (save for the Sandy-Kirsten and Anna-Seth-Summer relationships), meaning the Ryan-Marissa-Luke triangle will be different, and Julie Cooper -- well, I guess Julie Cooper will still be Julie Cooper. Just how we "love" her.

-------------------

It had been several weeks now -- going on four months, actually -- and Ryan's relationship with Kirsten was as steady as it could be, given the circumstances. He was almost surprised at how adept they had become at sneaking around. And he was still enjoying every moment of it. He was fastly learning what a vibrant, passionate woman Kirsten Cohen really was. He'd had an inkling in the very beginning, and had started to see a little more on their first night together... but he hadn't dreamed it could ever be like this.

When it came to their sexual relationship, she was as insatiable as he was, sometimes unable to make it through a full work day without calling him back home on his lunch break... where the two of them would then engage in what most would call 'a nooner.' And when Sandy and Seth, or anybody else was around, Kirsten would be tame... but always found ways of inching a little innuendo into her conversations with him, or subtly flirting with him. Ryan was without a doubt head-over-heels in love with her by now, and hoped and prayed every day that they could continue to stay under Sandy and Seth's radar.

Today was no different. It was a beautiful day for being December, with highs in the mid-eighties. Seth had declared immediately upon returning home from school that they take a dip... which meant the two of them would be floating in errant directions in the pool on the blue-and-white striped lounge chairs. Ryan was more than happy to agree, in fact the sight of the sparkling water in the infinity pool made him hurry all the more to change into his trunks.

When he emerged from the poolhouse ready to jump in, he stopped in his tracks, spotting the figure on the patio. Kirsten smiled at him from her lounge chair in the shade, wearing a bright aqua bikini under a white, finemesh cover-up robe. Her multi-colored hair was shining where it caught in the sun, and her heavenly blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of large black sunglasses. A book sat in her lap, spine propped against her bent left leg.

Ryan fought not to hyperventilate as he trailed his eyes down that toned, sun-kissed leg, to the wicker platform sandals strapped to her feet. He raised an eyebrow. "Kirsten."

A smirk curled her full lips and she grasped the bow of her sunglasses, drawing them down the bridge of her nose slightly. She peered at him over the rims, batting her eyelashes twice for effect. "Ryan. Beautiful day, hmm?"

He chuckled and threw a furtive glance at the house, where Seth was probably still changing, or... possibly talking to Captain Oats. "'Beautiful' is exactly what I was thinking." His grin grew all the wider when she gave him her patented Kirsten-head-tilt, sending him a darling smile in response. "What are you doing home so early?" he asked, taking a few more steps toward her.

She sighed and pushed her sunglasses back up, turning her attention back to her book and flipping a page. "It was far too nice out for a December day, so I called my dad and told him that I'd be taking the rest of the afternoon off." She gave him a look. "But if he happens to ask, tell him the Range Rover broke down and I had to pick you and Seth up from school."

He winked, to which she giggled. "You got it."

Kirsten sat up slightly and turned over her shoulder, glancing into the house before sinking back against her chair again, gazing up at Ryan. "Where's Seth?"

He grinned. "Changing." He moved toward her and touched her hand, heart thudding as she played with his fingers while he called toward the house, "Hey Seth? Seth?"

Silence reigned for a long moment before Ryan turned back to his poolside goddess with a grin. "I guess he'll be another minute."

She hummed, and he leaned down to her while she reached up, cupping his neck to bring him closer. "Then come here," she whispered, and stroked his lips with her own.

They sighed softly against each other's lips, exchanging a series of open-mouthed kisses before Kirsten pulled away with one last peck. She grinned up at him and teased his abdomen with her fingers. "Miss me?" she purred.

He was unable to contain his grin. "Always." Ryan then grabbed the hand that was still teasing his abs, and brought it up to kiss her knuckles before placing it gingerly in her lap. He made sure to throw her one more sexy smile over his shoulder before he stepped into the pool.

It was then that Seth emerged from the house, sliding the patio door shut behind him. "Okay, is it too prissy of me to be wearing SPF 45?"

Ryan nodded immediately, "yes," then ducked as the inflatable pool chairs were chucked at his head. He climbed onto one while watching Seth eye his mother.

"Mom, that's a, uh... nice little outfit there. Very, um... Mrs. Robinson of you."

"Well thank you, Seth... and I'm choosing to take the 'Graduate' reference as a compliment, too." She turned a secretive smile on Ryan, which widened when he blushed and ducked his head. "I just have been so pleased with the effects of my Yogalates class that I decided to buy a new swimsuit."

"Yogalates," Seth repeated under his breath.

Ryan quickly echoed, "yogalates," before Seth cleared his throat.

"And that's good for you, Mom, but... don't you think you're sorta harassing Ryan over there?" He gestured to Ryan while stepping into the pool and reaching for the second inflatable lounge chair.

Kirsten tilted her head at Ryan. "Ryan," she began, tone lilting andbordering onflirtatious, "you'd tell me if you were feeling harassed, right?"

He nodded, and let his eyes flick over her body only a moment before he replied, "definitely not feeling harassed."

Kirsten turned back to her son with a self-satisfied grin. "See? Now hush and enjoy the pool. I'm going to enjoy the sun, and my book."

------------

They lounged in the pool for at least a couple hours, Ryan figured, with Seth yammering about Summer and Anna the entire time. And Ryan, for the most part, really tried to pay attention... he really did, but... his eyes were constantly being drawn to Kirsten.

Sometimes she wouldn't notice, too absorbed in her book, and he would be awarded a moment to just gaze at her... admire her beauty. He'd catalogue the way her hair would cascade down over her face as she tilted her head, and how she'd then quickly reach up to tuck the errant strands behind her ear. He would watch avidly as she would reach for the drink off the table at her side, pulling it up to her mouth and closing those perfect lips around the straw, savoring the liquid drawn in.

Other times, she would catch his gaze and throw him little grins and looks, sometimes even mouthing dirty things at him, at which point he would have to roll off the lounge chair and dunk underwater to calm his urges. He thanked God the entire time that Seth was too absorbed in his girl troubles to notice anything.

When he resurfaced this last time, it was to find Seth staring at him, mouth in a small 'o' as he had probably stopped midsentence. Seth furrowed his brows. "Dude, you gotta work on your pool etiquette."

"What?"

"I was about to come to a revelation about my relationship with Summer when you all of a sudden rolled into the pool."

Ryan shrugged. "I was hot. Needed to cool off."

He heard Kirsten flip a page in her book, and he turned to see one corner of her lips twitch. "Hmm, must be the weather," she surmised, giving him a teasing look.

He glared facetiously, narrowing his eyes slightly at her. "Yeah, must be."

She grinned devilishly in response behind Seth's back and sucked provocatively on her straw, causing Ryan to dip into the water again before climbing back up onto his chair. "Alright," he huffed, "so what was this big revelation about Summer?"

Seth resumed his normal rambling pace and Ryan was able to follow him for a good five minutes this time. Kirsten's cell phone ringing distracted him, however, and he watched her turn slightly on her side to answer it, the curve of her hip attracting his gaze. "Hi!" she answered brightly.

Ryan swished his hand in the water, turning his lounge chair so it was facing away from the blonde beauty smiling into her cell phone. Sandy. It had to be Sandy. He sighed and stared out at the lush greens beyond the infinity pool until he heard her voice change. "What? Again?"

He turned himself back around, noting the crease had now appeared between her eyebrows. "This is the third day this week that you've had to work late with Rachel."

Sandy appeared at the patio door then, smiling apologetically at his wife while still holding his cell phone to his ear. "Honey, I'm sorry, but we've still got a lot of work to do on our newest case."

Ryan watched her narrow her eyes and flip her phone shut, earning her a mock-aghast look from Sandy... "You hung up on me."

She huffed and flipped another page in her book, this time so forcefully that she tore the corner of it. "Yeah, well, I'm mad at you."

"Aw, honey." He crouched at her side and kissed her cheek, stroking her arm while she studiously ignored him. "I really am sorry. I didn't expect joining this law firm would equal such a demanding case-load. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"Hmm, I'll give that some thought tonight while I'm home by myself."

"By yourself?" Sandy turned his eyes to the boys, still drifting around in the pool. "Where are you guys goin' tonight?"

Kirsten gestured to her son. "He'll probably be off with one of his several girlfriends..."

"Okay, Mom? It's technically just two girlfriends... and yeah, I'll be at Anna's." He looked to Ryan with a shrug. "New comic books. Gotta see 'em."

"And what about you?" Sandy asked of Ryan. "You got a date with Marissa?"

Ryan shook his head, catching Kirsten's gaze only for a moment before he looked up at Sandy. "Nah, she and Luke just got back together... for the third or fourth time, I can't remember anymore. So I will be here."

"There ya go, see? You'll have Ryan tonight. He'll keep you company... won't you, Ryan?"

Ryan averted his eyes, pretending to be interested in something at the bottom of the pool as he replied, "I'll give it my best shot." He looked shyly up at Kirsten again, smiling back when she smiled at him.

Sandy kissed his wife's cheek again. "Sorry again, honey, but I should go. Have fun tonight. I'll be home as soon as I can." He rose to his feet, staring down at her for a moment before he grinned slyly. "And may I say, you really put Anne Bancroft to shame in that outfit."

Seth bust out laughing and congratulated his father with a thumbs up while Kirsten's jaw dropped indignantly, just a hint of a smile appearing. "What is with all the 'Graduate' remarks?"

Sandy couldn't contain his laughter. "Honey, come on..." He gestured to the boys.

When Kirsten looked at them, mouth still open, Seth raised his hands in an exaggerated shrug and turned away, sending another thumbs up toward his father. She then looked to Ryan for help. "Ryan... tell them."

He immediately replied, "Kirsten's a saint," while turning to lay on his stomach on the pool chair.

Sandy let out a low whistle, followed by a chuckle. "Wow. Not even a year in this house, and she's already got you trained?" He shook his head. "Took her until three years into the marriage to train me."

"And I still refuse to submit to The Man," Seth chimed in, then gestured to his mother, "or in this case, The Kirsten."

"The Kirsten still has the power to ground The Seth, however, if he's too insubordinate," she reminded him, and turned her eyes back to her book.

Seth nodded, then climbed off the chair and dragged it with him out of the pool. "I'll take that as my cue to leave for Anna's."

Sandy smiled at his son, clapping him on the shoulder, before leaning into his wife for one more cheek-peck. "And I will also take that as my cue to leave seeing as how, like our son, I'd like to keep all my vital organs intact."

"Have fun," Kirsten called facetiously, and was back to her book in seconds.

Ryan folded his arms on the lounge chair, cushioning his chin as he contemplated her through his lashes. The tension in her jaw was evident as she forcefully flicked another page over, the sound of tearing paper cutting the silence. "You okay?" he asked slowly, fully prepared to paddle to the deep end of the pool should an attack ensue.

"I'm fine," she huffed, then, after he kept his eyes on her long enough, she lowered her book. "Really. I'm okay."

"You just seem a little tense." He regarded her carefully, then pressed, "Sandy?"

"I know I have no right to be worried about what he's doing with Rachel, considering..." She gestured between the two of them and her voice trailed off, her hand dropping heavily to her side. "But I just..." She finally sighed defeatedly. "I don't know."

"He's your husband," Ryan offered, though his heart protested uttering such a statement. "It's natural for you to be worried."

"I guess."

He rolled off the lounge chair and submerged only for a moment before rising to his feet, walking to the edge of the pool directly at the foot of her chair. "Hey..."

She set her book down on the table and pulled her sunglasses off. He smiled up at her. "Take a dip in the hot tub with me. It'll make you feel better."

"You know what'll happen once we get in there."

"Yeah? And what's that?" he asked coyly, folding his arms on the side of the pool and resting his head on them, tilting it at her.

She giggled. "Ryan..."

"Well hello, Kirsten!" Julie Cooper stepped out onto the patio, surprising both Kirsten and Ryan as she made her way up to the pool, glaring down at Ryan. "And if it isn't everybody's favorite little arsonist."

Ryan looked to Kirsten, who immediately rolled her eyes. "Julie..."

She held up her hands in surrender. "You're right, you're right. That was uncalled for." She batted her eyelashes and smiled at Ryan, though to him that smile was anything but genuine. "No hard feelings, right Ryan?"

He rolled his eyes and turned away, wading back to his lounge chair as he muttered sarcastically, "right."

"What are you doing here, Julie?"

"Well, I'm cooking dinner for your father tonight, Kiki--"

"Don't call me Kiki," Kirsten immediately corrected. "Only my dad calls me that, and only because he won't... not."

"Well I'm making dinner for him tonight... sort of a one-and-a-quarter-month anniversary kind of thing, you know?"

Ryan turned back around and exchanged a look with Kirsten, trading smiles. "So what did you need me for, then, Julie?" she asked.

"I was just wondering what I could do that would make him happiest."

"Leave town?" Ryan quipped dryly, and grinned when Kirsten bust out laughing.

Julie stared at him, shocked, with her hands planted on her hips, before looking to Kirsten for help. She merely shrugged and continued stifling her laughs. "Ryan," she scolded half-heartedly. "Apologize."

He gave her another grin, and turned to Julie with sincerity nowhere to be found on his features. "Sorry, Julie." He raised his eyebrows at her as he climbed the steps out of the pool. "No hard feelings, right?"

Kirsten gave another giggle and tossed him a towel. He smiled his thank you while Julie continued to look between the two of them. "Well, I'll just have to figure out something on my own," she finally sighed, noting the way the pair in front of her smiled at each other. Something was amiss. She glanced to her friend. "You know, Kirsten, that's a great outfit on you."

"Thanks."

"But don't you think it's a little 'Mrs. Robinson' to be wearing in front of a young man like Ryan? Surely he feels harassed."

Kirsten rolled her eyes and pulled her sunglasses back on, draping her arms over the arms of her chair while tilting her head back. "Ryan..."

"Leave her alone, okay? Kirsten's not harassing me, she's just trying to enjoy the afternoon like I am." He patted himself down, both him and Julie missing Kirsten's appreciative stare.

Julie raised an eyebrow at him. "Oookay, defensive much? Geez, Ryan, for burning down her model home and almost ruining her career you're certainly protective of her."

"Julie, that's enough," Kirsten snipped, and swung her long legs over the side of her chair, pressing the heels of her hands into the cushion. "Don't make something too spicy for my dad, he doesn't like it. Do some kind of seafood."

Julie smiled faux-gratefully. "Thanks, Kirs!"

"You're welcome."

"Well, I'll be on my way, then." She spun on her heel and threw one more glance over her shoulder at the pair, her sharp blue eyes quickly cataloguing the look they exchanged... "You two enjoy your evening... and say Kirsten, where's Sandy tonight?"

"Working late."

Julie nodded slowly, an almost smug smirk playing at her lips. "Ahh. I see. Well, I'm sure Ryan will think of some way to keep you busy tonight. Have fun."

She exited swiftly, leaving the pair to trade looks behind her back. "How long have you been friends with her?" Ryan asked once Julie was safely out of earshot.

Kirsten giggled, her beautiful eyes slipping closed as she did so briefly before popping back open and settling on him. "Too long," she sighed. She patted the space on the chair next to where she sat, and Ryan took the cue, sitting down beside her. Her hand immediately found his knee, rubbing affectionately while she stared at the path of Julie's exit. "I met her in an aerobics class twenty years ago and set her up with Jimmy. A few years later she got pregnant with Marissa, Jimmy married her, and they moved in right next door." She turned to him with a slow smile. "The rest, unfortunately, is history."

Ryan hummed a chuckle and glanced down at his knee, removing her hand only to lace their fingers together. "So you and Jimmy were--"

"High school sweethearts," she finished. She shook her head, sighing at the memory. "Back then, I was so sure I would marry him. We knew each other so well. I mean... we grew up together, you know? Lived next door to each other all our lives, practically."

"So what happened?"

"The inevitable. We graduated high school... Jimmy went off to SCU, I stayed home and went to Berkeley."

He nodded. "Which is where you met Sandy."

"Yeah." She chuckled to herself. "It's kinda strange to look at it this way now, but... I really went from one guy I thought I would marry to the guy that I _did_ marry, with nobody in between. I've only been with two men my entire life." She bestowed upon him an affectionate smile. "And now three." She shrugged. "I never really considered myself inexperienced when it came to love, to relationships, but... if you think about it, I really am."

"That's not such a bad thing, though."

She laughed and leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes when he covered it with his own. "It doesn't make me seem pathetic and virginal?"

"Not pathetic at all, and... judging by my experience..." He craned his neck and gave her a sly look as she peeked up at him, smirking. "Definitely not virginal."

Her jaw dropped in a mock-aghast expression, and she reached out to whack his shoulder only to have him grab her and kiss her.

* * *

TBC

* * *

_**MORE Author's Notes: **As you may have noticed, the updates have been slow-going. That's because the writer's block for this story has been quite profound. I'm trying my best to move past it, however. This week's episode definitely made that a little easier with the Rysten scenes we got, so I'm once again inwardly tossing ideas around for future chapters. I'm always open to suggestions, too, if anybody has any, so let me know! And as always, you guys rule... first, for reading this (especially the non-Rysten shippers, since it's such an unconventional pairing), and second, for leaving me nice reviews! It's always appreciated!_


	7. Change of Scenery

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER SEVEN: Change of Scenery  
SPOILERS/SUMMARY/etc.: See chapter one.

* * *

Kirsten hadn't meant to fall asleep, it just... seemed inevitable. Whenever she was in front of the TV late in the evening, her eyes would always slip closed, like some sort of strange, Pavlovian response. She slowly opened her eyes and moved to prop herself up, her hand immediately pressing against soft fabric and taut muscle. Her eyes came fully open. "Where am I?"

The chest beneath her fingertips rumbled with laughter, and Kirsten met Ryan's smiling eyes. "If I said you were on Mars, would you believe me?"

"Ryan, I'm so sorry!" She pushed herself off him and allowed him to sit up, her eyes absently noting the small, darkened spot on his shirt. She covered her eyes, which were already shut in a pained expression. "Oh God, and I drooled on you."

Ryan had cooked her dinner, a wonderful rigatoni dish as well as a salad and bread, and they'd ventured into the living room to cuddle up for some TV. _Almost like a real couple_, she realized with a start, then immediately shook the thought away.

Ryan, not noticing her sudden vacant expression, chuckled and reached over his head for the remote on the back of the couch. "No worries. I took it as a compliment." After flicking the television off, he sat up with a grunt and draped his arm across the back of the couch, kissing Kirsten's forehead when she leaned into him.

"Ah!" She immediately jumped back when her ear touched something cold and wet.

He laughed again. "The drool?"

"Yeah." She rubbed her ear. "My God. Now I know what Seth was talking about."

"Huh?"

"I accidentally fell asleep on him once during some..." She waved her hand dismissively as she shook her head, "some Kung Fu movie he and Sandy forced me to watch, and he claimed that I drooled so much he had to throw out his shirt."

Ryan grinned. "I dunno about that." He glanced down at himself, craning his neck to see the dark spot. "I think this shirt's still salvageable."

Kirsten mirrored his grin and leaned in to kiss him, pulling away with a sigh. "So what should we do now?" She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Head back to the poolhouse, like usual?"

Ryan tilted his head. "Actually... I have a better idea."

* * *

The sand felt amazing beneath her bare feet, cool on the surface but still warm beneath from where the sun had soaked through earlier in the day. The ocean crashed loudly as she and Ryan ran laughing across the beach, heading for the lifeguard tower, one of her hands held tight within his while the other held her shoes. They ran up the wooden plank together and collapsed, still laughing, against the stand, both sinking to the deck.

Kirsten immediately snuggled up to him, leaning her head on his shoulder as she sighed wistfully, "What a great idea."

"I just figured it'd be a nice change of scenery from the pool house. And we don't even have to do... anything."

So they sat and watched the waves lap at the shore... watched the sun fully disappear beneath the horizon, and watched the silvery moon claim its reign over the night sky, stars twinkling overhead. Kirsten had never felt so relaxed, yet so energized at the same time. She felt seventeen again, with Ryan. She wanted to stay seventeen forever.

She watched their hands, joining on the thigh of his bent right leg, fingers slowly twining together, and her heart skipped a beat. Such a natural fit. She sighed again when she felt Ryan's lips dusting across her forehead, gently down the bridge of her nose until their lips met. Still feeling seventeen, she posed a coy question just as their lips touched. "Wanna make out?"

His answering laugh puffed against her lips. "Thought you'd never ask. But first..." he pulled away and jerked his head toward the beach, "you wanna move this onto the sand? It'd probably be more comfortable."

Kirsten inclined her head slightly, sending him a coquettish smile. "I like the way you think."

Ryan rose and offered his hand to his blonde deity, winking when she placed her hand inside his. He pulled her to her feet and led her back down the plank, down the beach until they were just a few yards away from the waves. The breeze off the water blew her hair all around her and she giggled, attempting to push it down as it was obstructing her view.

Ryan just grinned and wrapped his arms around her, lowering her to the sand as their lips connected. Another breeze peppered her arm with goosebumps and he leaned over her, blanketing her body with his. "I'll keep you warm," he promised in a whisper, trailing kisses down her neck.

"You always do," she whispered back, and ran her fingers through his hair.

They kissed and touched for what felt like hours with the scent of sand and sea salt swirling around them. When Ryan's hand began trailing up her leg, bringing her long white skirt up with it, she grinned against his lips. "Why -- Mr. Atwood -- do I get the feeling that there's more on your mind than making out?"

His lips smiled back against hers. "Because there is."

"Hmm." She allowed him to push her skirt up around her waist while she reached for the button on his jeans.

"You're not afraid someone will see us, are ya?" he teased, while easing her underwear down.

Kirsten gave him a smoldering look through her lashes. "Just lose the pants."

His eyes widened briefly before he hurriedly went to work on his zipper. "Yes ma'am."

They remained practically fully clothed... only her underwear missing and his pants pushed down far enough to expose him... and the fact that anyone could drive by and see them added a sense of excitement and urgency to their coupling. No cars passed, for which they were grateful, and the sounds of the ocean cloaked their cries of passion.

* * *

Kirsten stifled her laughter and finished dusting the sand out of Ryan's hair as they crept into the darkened Cohen house, the silver beams of the moon their only source of light. "Get some sleep," she whispered, looking around for prying eyes before leaning in to softly kiss him. "I'll see you in the morning."

Ryan nodded and pecked her cheek, giving her a grin over his shoulder while he headed in the direction of the poolhouse. Kirsten watched him go, then sighed quietly, forcibly wiping the wide smile off her face as she made her way to the master bedroom.

She paused outside the door before reaching for the knob, twisting it as inaudibly as she could before allowing the door to swing open. She spotted Sandy's slumbering form already in bed and she tiptoed over to her own side, kicking her shoes under the bed and making a silent promise to herself to pick them up tomorrow. For now, she was too exhausted. Ryan made her feel seventeen, yes, but even her inner seventeen-year-old was worn out.

"You're home."

Kirsten jumped visibly and whipped her head around to see Sandy turning on his side to face her and scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He smiled that lovely, pearly smile at her that she fell in love with all those years ago. "Where were you, honey?"

She forced a smile and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "I just felt like getting out of the house tonight, so I wandered down to the beach."

"Yeah? Ryan go with ya?"

"Yeah, he followed after awhile. It was a beautiful night out." Carefully keeping her eyes from her husband's, she went around the bed toward their dresser, where she pulled out a pair of pajamas and began to change.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Sandy swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly rose to his feet, padding over to his wife and snaking his arms around her waist when she was stripped down to her bra and panties. "Who said anything about pajamas tonight?"

Kirsten's heart bumped up into her throat, and she feigned a soft chuckle. "What?"

Sandy snatched the pajamas out of her hand and held them behind his back while he leaned in for a kiss. "I think maybe we should go au naturel tonight, honey. Whaddya say?"

She flashed a bright, but coy, smile while gently disentangling herself from her husband. "I say we both get a full night's sleep. What with your late nights and all, I'm sure you're exhausted."

His smile faded, but he nodded with understanding. "You're right."

Kirsten couldn't help the grin. "Say that again?"

Sandy leaned in to give her a quick peck once more before going back over to the bed. "I'm not repeatin' it," he chuckled.

She smiled to herself, a bit sadly, as she watched him get into bed and pull the covers back over himself, turning on his side. Sandy Cohen. She remembered being twenty-two at Berkeley and having her books gathered to her chest while she hurried toward her next class. She had crashed in to somebody and felt the strangest drop in her stomach; when she looked up, she saw Sandy Cohen. That, in a sense, was when she knew she was supposed to be with him.

And it was that sensation that had caused her concern several months before, when she and Ryan nearly collided in the kitchen at dinner-time. She'd only ever felt that sensation with Sandy... and now Ryan. With Sandy, she'd taken it as a sign that they were supposed to be together. With Ryan, she wasn't quite sure how to take it.Someone cannot be meant for more than one person, can they? She'd always seen the idea of 'soul mates' as being a _pair_ of people destined for each other; a pair that share things where it's good for the relationship, and differ where it's good for the relationship.

That was she and Sandy to a T. But what about she and Ryan? Ryan had a completely opposite background as she, much like Sandy. Ryan rejuvenated her, much like Sandy had when she was in her early twenties. She had been growing tired of being the waspy, cotillion-attending daughter of Caleb Nichol when Sandy had come along. And then she had grown tired of being the Newpsie, Newport-Group-bigwig daughter of Caleb Nichol, wife of Sandy Cohen, and mother of Seth Cohen when Ryan had come along.

"Honey?"

"Yeah?" She turned over her shoulder, only realizing upon turning around that she'd been staring out at the poolhouse.

Sandy chuckled softly. "Are you comin' to bed tonight or not?"

Kirsten smiled. "Yes, I'm coming." She made her way over to the bed and pulled back the covers, sliding between them and leaning over to give Sandy a kiss before she turned to lie on her side. When Sandy curled around her, she patted his arm and sighed to herself, staring out the window at the sleeping city of Newport Beach; and just before she drifted off, she promised herself to sort out her feelings for both of the men in her life in the morning.

* * *

TBC

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Sorry, as usual, for the long stretch between updates. This is actually the last complete chapter that I have, because I am unbelievably stuck on this one. I've got lots of other Rysten stories I'm working on, but as far as this one goes? Don't know where to take it next._

_That's where you come in. If any of you have ideas for where to go with it, let me know. I know for certain that I'll be bringing Julie back into it at some point... and more sex is pretty much a given ;) _

Where else would you like to see me take it? Hit that little 'review' button at the bottom of the screen and let me know!


	8. Decisions Made

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER EIGHT: Decisions Made  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sorry it's taken so long to update this, guys. And thank you all for your wonderful ideas! I'm still trying to work them all in, but you all will receive ample credit for the finished product :D Also, this chapter and the one that follows will be somewhat shorter than the rest have been -- both are different points of view leading up to the New Year. Enjoy.

* * *

Ryan finished zipping up his backpack and threw a longing glance past the poolhouse doors, toward the master bedroom. He could see Sandy clearly, smiling toward the closet, where Kirsten was probably getting ready for her day. That assumption was confirmed when he saw Kirsten come toward Sandy still buttoning her fitted suit jacket. Her hands went to his shoulders and they kissed. It was at that point that Ryan turned away, not wanting to see the rest.

Kirsten had made her decision a week ago. He knew, inwardly, that she would always choose Sandy. He expected nothing different -- after all, she had so much to lose if she didn't choose her husband. Ryan just wasn't prepared for how deeply that would hurt.

They had barely spoken two words to each other in the past week. Ryan could just barely bring himself to look her in the eye. Seth often pestered him about this, asking what sort of fight he and his mother had gotten into, but Ryan always shrugged it off, telling Seth he was seeing things.

He heard the poolhouse door open and glanced up, smiling when Marissa Cooper entered.

"Hey," she greeted with her trademark bright smile.

"Hey. Thanks for giving me a ride. Seth left early to meet up with Anna, I think."

"No problem, I'm happy to do it. I, uh... actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I know we haven't been seeing much of each other lately, but--"

"No worries. I know Luke isn't all that fond of me," Ryan sighed, and slung his backpack over one shoulder.

"Well, that's the thing. Luke and I kind of broke up."

His brows twitched upward. "Really? When?"

"Just after Christmas. It was a long time coming, anyway."

Ryan nodded and followed Marissa out of the poolhouse, trailing behind her as she entered the Cohen kitchen. She greeted Sandy and Kirsten, who were sipping their coffee side-by-side, before turning back to Ryan. "What I wanted to talk to you about is... I've got this new friend, Oliver. He's having a New Year's Eve party tonight, and... I was hoping you could come with me."

Ryan lifted his eyes and caught Kirsten's gaze, holding it for several seconds. In those blue eyes of hers he saw every feeling she hadn't been able to express in the past week -- guilt, sadness, hurt, affection... and still a hint of desire.

He finally tore his eyes away and looked to Marissa. Kirsten had made her decision... so he had to make one of his own. "Yeah, I'd uh... I'd love to."

Marissa's smile was joyous, and she squeezed his shoulder. "Great! Okay, I can't wait!"

Ryan smiled, his eyes flitting toward Kirsten again, who was now looking almost crestfallen as she sipped at her coffee. He cleared his throat. "We should get going."

Marissa smiled and waved goodbye to Sandy and Kirsten before touching Ryan's shoulder again and heading for the front door. He followed close behind, meeting Kirsten's eyes one last time before he left.

* * *

After school, Marissa invited Ryan out with her and Oliver, but he declined, instead deciding to spend his afternoon inside the poolhouse. He knew he'd be left to himself -- Seth would be off with Anna, Sandy would be at the office, as would Kirsten. He could be alone with his thoughts.

So he laid on his back in bed. He stared at the ceiling fan, much like he often did when he was plagued with thoughts of Kirsten. He vividly recalled the day he laid in that very same position, twirling Kirsten's underwear on his finger, which she'd left for him after one of their trysts. He then quickly pushed that thought away. Now it was too painful.

Ryan sat up slowly and shoved his pillows aside, pulling the corner of his mattress back. He found the very same pair of panties balled up under the mattress. He took them out and shook his head, missing Kirsten more than ever.

As if the mere thought conjured her, Kirsten entered the poolhouse. Ryan quickly rose to his feet and shoved her panties into his pocket before she could see them. "Kirsten."

One corner of her lips just barely twitched in a smile. "Hey. Look... Ryan... I just want to say I'm sorry again, about--"

"Don't be." He shook his head. "You and I both know you made the right decision. You should be with your husband."

"I never meant to--"

"I know that too," he finished. She never meant to hurt him, and he knew that. Both of them knew, going into this, that there would be no happy ending. Still that didn't prepare him for how he'd feel when it ended.

"So..." Kirsten clasped her hands in front of her in her trademark way as her eyes flitted around the poolhouse, settling on anything and everything but him. "You and Marissa, huh?"

"Yeah." He shook his head at himself. "I don't know, maybe..."

She lifted her eyes to his. "You deserve to be happy, Ryan."

He held her gaze, knowing the pain he was feeling was written in his eyes. "You made me happy." He closed his eyes in frustration and gritted his teeth, inwardly admonishing himself for saying too much. Just like the last time they were together.

Kirsten closed her eyes and bowed her head, a whispered, "I'm sorry," floating toward him. "Ryan, you'll never know how sorry I am for all of this. And I know you said I shouldn't be sorry, but I am. I feel like... I led you on somehow."

Ryan swallowed hard and shook his head, rolling up the sleeves of his button-down shirt. "I was the one that started it. I guess it's fitting that you were the one to end it."

Kirsten cut her eyes to the side and exhaled softly, but forcefully. Ryan could tell she was struggling for something more to say, but nothing was coming. "I sh- I should go."

He nodded. "Yeah. You really should." He reached into his pocket then, stopping Kirsten before she turned away. "Oh, and... you should take these with you."

Kirsten felt the ball of lace in her palm and instantly knew what it was that he was giving her. She swallowed hard and nodded, slipping them into her own pocket as a lump swelled in her throat. "Okay."

The air was still thick with tension as they stared at one another, until Kirsten finally sighed, broke gaze... and sadly left the poolhouse. And Ryan, once more alone, flopped backward on his bed and continued to stare at the ceiling fan.

* * *

New Year's Eve rolled around and Ryan was finally starting to come out of the Kirsten-induced funk he'd been in. He'd been hanging around Marissa more and more, which made Seth increasingly happy.

"Dude, this party, seriously? Will be off the hook," Seth commented as he straightened his tie in the mirror.

Ryan came out of the poolhouse bathroom with raised eyebrows, fixing the collar of his slate-grey button-down shirt. "Think so, huh?"

"Heck yes, man. I'll be kissing either Summer or Anna... you'll be kissing Marissa, finally..." He turned suddenly. "Do you think I should be concerned that my parents are going to a swingers' party tonight?"

"Excuse me?" Ryan nearly dropped the bottle of water he'd just opened.

"Yeah. My Aunt Hailey let that slip at breakfast. I literally almost regurgitated Cap'n Crunch all over the breakfast bar. Should I be worried that my parents are going to turn into a couple of swingers? Y'know, and they start like... going to orgies every weekend?"

"That doesn't sound like something Kirsten would do," Ryan blurted. He turned away before Seth could see his reaction to his statement.

"And that sounds like something my dad _would_ do?" Seth chuckled, stepping back from the mirror.

"Your parents, I meant. It doesn't sound like something either of them would do."

"Yeah, well now that Hailey's back, apparently all bets are off."

Kirsten's estranged sister Hailey had returned the night before, much to everyone's surprise. Ryan had overheard Kirsten and Sandy discussing the probable reason for the younger Nichol daughter's return -- that she was in need of more money -- thus painting for Ryan a picture of the young woman's relationship with her family. Since she'd been back, she'd also been meddling in Kirsten and Sandy's marriage... and now had apparently gotten them to go to a swingers' party.

"And here's the thing -- I don't think my parents _know_ that it's a swingers' party. Do you think I have an obligation as their son, and possible future candidate for intensive psychotherapy, to tell them?"

"They're adults, Seth," Ryan sighed, rolling up his sleeves and reaching for his leather wrist-cuff. "When they get there and realize it's a swingers' party, they'll leave if they don't want to be there. If they do want to still be there, obviously they'll stay."

Seth echoed his friend's sigh and shook his head. "This just has 'disaster' written all over it."

Ryan cleared his throat, not wanting to hear about Kirsten and Sandy's love life any longer, and reached for his cell phone. "Let's go. Marissa'll be here to pick us up any minute."

* * *

By the time they'd reached the Four Seasons hotel, where Oliver's party was being held, Ryan had nearly managed to forget about Kirsten and Sandy. He enjoyed looking around Oliver's posh penthouse suite and actually got a kick out of Seth lamenting over which girl he should kiss at midnight. Marissa hung on his arm every so often as well, though he sensed she was more interested in Oliver.

When 11:30 rolled around, however, Ryan's thoughts drifted back to the woman he wasn't supposed to be thinking about. How could she really be at a swingers' party? It didn't make any sense. He checked his watch for what felt like the fiftieth time in the past few minutes.

A hand on his arm gave him cause to look up. Marissa's concern-filled hazel eyes were contemplating him. "Are you okay?" She attempted a flirty smile. "It's getting close to midnight! Getting excited?"

"Uh..." Ryan looked toward the door. "Marissa, I'm sorry, but... I think I need to leave."

"Why?"

He shook his head. "I just... I have somewhere else I need to be right now, I'm really sorry. Here." He guided her toward Oliver, who instinctively took her arm. "Hang out with Oliver, okay?"

"Well, do you need me to drive you home? I could--"

"No, it's alright. I'll catch a cab." He waved dismissively and started for the door. "You should stay. Happy New Year!"

He was out the door and into a cab before Marissa could even reply.

* * *

TBC 


	9. Aching

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER NINE: Aching  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Flashbacks are in italics :D

* * *

Kirsten knew which one she'd ultimately choose. The decision was made before she'd even had to make it. And yet, though she knew all along what the outcome would be, that didn't prepare her for how she'd feel once the decision was actually made. She'd chosen her husband over Ryan, the correct choice in her mind... though her heart didn't seem to agree.

She ached every time she saw him since she'd ended things. And every time she looked at him, it brought back flashes of their final night together... before she told him what her decision had to be; before he told her the most shocking thing she'd ever heard him say.

* * *

_"I think that's how we should greet each other all the time from here on out," Ryan panted, sinking back against the mattress. _

_Kirsten grinned brightly, leaning down to capture his lips again as she moved off of him and onto her side. "I think greeting each other like that constantly could actually be bad for our health."_

_She laid her head on his bare, muscular chest and smiled when it spasmed with his low rumble of laughter. _

"And how's that? It's cardiovascular. If anything, we'll stay in great shape."

_Kirsten sighed dreamily and closed her eyes, her scalp tingling when Ryan began running his fingers through her hair. They were silent for several moments, in which Ryan stroked her hair and planted tender kisses on her forehead... and in which Kirsten was slowly growing more and more despondent. It was time to tell him. _

_"Ryan..."_

_"Mmm?" He tipped her chin up and craned his neck to capture her lips. _

_She forced herself to pull away and look him in the eye. "I think we need to talk."_

_She watched him search her eyes with his own stunning blues, before he swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay."_

_They sat up together and slowly dressed, both having to hunt around the poolhouse for their discarded clothes. Once they were both fully dressed, Kirsten ran a hand through her hair and began. "I think you already know what I'm going to say, but I still think I should say it."_

_Ryan just nodded and watched her pace from his vantage-point on the bed. "Yeah."_

_"Ryan, I have to try to save my marriage." She pressed on even though she saw him duck his head. "I have to. So much is at stake, and--" _

"Yeah, I got it," he mumbled, stuffing a hand through his hair.

_Kirsten watched this motion, her eyes on the angry tufts of dark blond hair that now stood up. "Ryan, I'm so sorry."_

_He sighed. "You've got nothing to be sorry for. This entire thing is my fault."_

_She furrowed her brow at this. "How, exactly?"_

_He stood and began pacing at the opposite side of the bed, one hand planted on his hip while the other gestured to her. "I kissed you first."_

_Kirsten shook her head and took a step toward him. "I kissed you back."_

_"I untied your robe." _

"I let you."

_"Kirsten, just stop it!" he yelled suddenly._

_She flinched slightly as her eyes widened. "Well what else do you want me to say?"_

_"Nothing, okay?" He was still upset, still shouting as he continued pacing, keeping his eyes from hers. "Don't say anything! None of this was your fault, it was all my fault! I knew this wasn't going to end well. I didn't expect it to. I didn't expect any of this to happen, alright?" He looked up at her then with pain written across his face as he took the final plunge and blurted, "I sure as hell didn't expect to fall in love with you!"_

_Kirsten drew in a sharp breath. "You what?"_

_She then watched as realization dawned on his face, followed by another expression of pain and anger... and he shook his head. Waving dismissively, he muttered, "Forget it."_

_"Hey guys? You out there?" Sandy called from the kitchen. "Seth and I brought Thai!"_

_"Coming!" Kirsten immediately called back, then swung her head round quickly to look at Ryan. "Ryan, I--" _

"Don't." He began to straighten up his bed almost meticulously... as if trying to erase any evidence of what had just occurred there. "You should go inside. Sandy's waiting."

_Before she could say another word, he brushed past her and left, slamming the poolhouse door. _

* * *

Kirsten took a sip of her coffee as she replayed those final moments with Ryan... what he'd said. It was a week ago already and they'd barely spoken two words to each other since. She knew Ryan was deeply hurt -- and she also knew without question that he had meant what he'd said. It didn't hit Kirsten full-force until it was over that what they'd had was serious. Adulterous and illicit as it was, it was a serious relationship.

And her heart still ached from missing that relationship. Sure, things with Sandy were good again, but she was constantly reminded of how good things had been with Ryan at the same time. How great they had been together, not just physically. The two of them had been a wonderful fit.

"Hey! Morning, honey."

Kirsten turned and gave Sandy a smile as he ambled up behind her, planting a kiss on her neck. As he went about getting his coffee, she turned her eyes toward the poolhouse, from which Ryan was emerging with Marissa. A pang of jealousy seared her heart when she watched Ryan smile that glorious smile at the Cooper girl.

"Is that Marissa?" Sandy leaned toward the window, surprise in his tone. "I had no idea they were seeing each other."

"They weren't," she replied, and hoped her response didn't come out too quickly.

"They weren't, huh? How do you know?" Sandy leaned against the counter with one hand, bringing his coffee cup to his lips with the other.

Kirsten cut her eyes to the side. "Well, I think it would be obvious. She'd be over here a lot, or he'd be leaving to see her quite a bit," she lied. "I think we'd know, Sandy."

"That's true. Well, then he's been seein' someone we don't know about!"

She tried to keep her expression bland. "How do you figure that?"

"Well he's been in an extraordinarily good mood the past several months... just until last week, though. He's been much different for the past week."

She cleared her throat and brought her coffee cup to her lips again as the back door opened. Her eyes were immediately on Ryan as he and Marissa stepped inside. The Cooper girl greeted them in her usual bright way and she echoed the greeting though her eyes stayed on Ryan. When he looked up, she turned away, reaching for a bagel.

Sandy snatched it from her with a grin and she couldn't help whacking him in the arm, though she was still straining to hear what Marissa was saying. She caught the tail end of it.

"And... I was hoping you could come with me."

Kirsten looked up then and found Ryan's eyes on her. They held gaze for several seconds until Sandy leaned back in her field of vision. He extended one half of the bagel to her and she took it with a smile, her ears still focused on the conversation at the other end of the breakfast bar.

"Yeah, I'd uh... I'd love to."

She met Ryan's eyes again and couldn't help but feel disappointment, though she knew it was irrational. She'd chosen Sandy. Ryan had every right to move on and date. She took another sip of her coffee and blinked back the emotions trying to surface.

"We should go," she heard Ryan sigh, and she caught his eyes one last time before he and Marissa left.

Kirsten turned to deposit her now-empty coffee mug in the sink, feeling Sandy's eyes on her the entire time and just hoping he hadn't noticed the looks that passed between her and Ryan.

"So honey, it sounds like Ryan's got some New Year's plans, and... Seth's probably going to be sandwiched between Summer and Anna as usual..."

"Don't say sandwiched, Sandy," she sighed. "Bad images."

"Sorry," he chuckled, and came up behind her.

She felt his hands on her shoulders, gently kneading, as his lips ventured toward her ear. "So, since the boys'll be busy, whaddya say you and I take full advantage of having an empty house on New Year's?"

Kirsten's heart lurched. It used to flutter every time he would make a suggestive comment such as that. Now, for some reason it just made her feel guilty. And her heart still ached. So, she forced her mind into control, turned around and, with a smile, replied, "That sounds great."

* * *

But the promise of an empty house was never fulfilled. Kirsten's younger sister Hailey had shown up out of the blue the night before New Year's Eve, just adding to Kirsten's stress level. She loved her sister, but knew full-well the purpose for her return. She was in need of another cash handout from their father. Not only that, it seemed the young woman was up to something.

Hailey had been far too sweet upon her return, and practically ushered Kirsten and Sandy out the door, to go to some party. And, after five minutes at the party Hailey had sent them to, Kirsten knew for a fact her younger sister was up to something. She and Sandy found themselves smack in the middle of a swingers' party.

Sandy looked to her in disbelief after watching several of the party's male guests deposit their watches into a large bowl. "Oh you've gotta be kiddin' me. Hailey doesn't think we need _this_ much loosening up, does she?"

Kirsten shrugged. "Apparently so." And she knew it to be true. Earlier in the day when Hailey had been rifling through Kirsten's closet in search of a party outfit for her sister, she had accused she and Sandy of being very, deeply, married. She basically accused them of being in a rut.

Trouble was, Hailey was right. That was partly the reason Kirsten had started an affair with Ryan -- because she'd gotten far too comfortable in her marriage and needed a change.

She swallowed hard as her heart ached yet again. Just the mere thought of him and she hurt all over. That had to be a sign of some sort. "Do you wanna get out of here?" she asked Sandy.

His thick eyebrows flicked upward. "Yes please, honey. We can still make it to the Arches if we hurry."

"And we can get stinking drunk."

"Absolutely."

* * *

They never made it to the Arches, either. On the way inside, they had run into Julie and Caleb, who were just leaving. "Sandy! Kirsten!" Julie beamed and leaned into each of them for kisses on the cheek. "We were just talking about you."

"Oh that couldn'tve been good," Sandy quipped.

"How would you two like to join us for drinks?" Julie suggested.

Kirsten nodded, surprisingly exuberantly, and ignored the shocked look she got from Sandy in return. "We'd love to, thanks." Anything to keep her mind off Ryan, she thought.

So they went for drinks with Julie and Caleb. As Sandy threw back more and more scotch, Kirsten drank more and more water, knowing she'd have to be the one dragging Sandy toward the master bedroom later with him passed out on her shoulder.

"Might wanna ease up on the scotch, Sandman," Caleb teased rather stoically. "That's how alcoholism starts."

"Nah, that's just how I enjoy my time with ya, Cal," Sandy shot back with a sly smirk.

Kirsten sighed and checked her watch. It was already half-past eleven... thirty minutes until the New Year. She wondered what Ryan was doing.

"So Kiki, what's your sister doing this evening?" Caleb asked.

"Mm, probably waiting around for her daddy to hand her another wad of cash," Julie sighed, plucking the olive out of her martini.

"No, I would bet she's havin' a party tonight," Sandy joined in.

Kirsten furrowed her brows. "Why do you say that?"

Sandy blew a puff of air through his lips and took another gulp of his scotch. She watched his eyes go unfocused for a moment before he replied, "Honey, please. She was just a little too eager to get us out of the house tonight."

Kirsten closed her eyes and finished her glass of water. "We have to get back."

* * *

TBC 


	10. Ringing In

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER TEN: Ringing In  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know I normally do these chapters with either a Ryan or a Kirsten slant, but I decided to combine for once. Enjoy!

* * *

Ryan huffed impatiently and leaned to the side, attempting to see past the line of cars on the highway. "What the hell's taking so long?" he muttered to himself, but he got a shrug from the cabbie nonetheless.

"It's New Year's, buddy. Bound to be a lotta traffic tonight."

Ryan leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, wishing himself back to the poolhouse. He tried to enjoy himself at the party... and had even succeeded for a brief time, but... his thoughts always returned to Kirsten. She was probably tangled up with Sandy at the moment. His heart lurched at the thought that she could even be tangled up with some stranger, if they really went to that swingers' party Hailey sent them to.

He knew he couldn't keep doing this to himself, but he couldn't help it. In the short span of four months, Kirsten had become everything to him. And it was cliched to think it... the thought even made him a little sick, but... he couldn't be without her. He'd become addicted, hopelessly devoted, to the beautiful blonde in four short months. He'd said that first night that there would be no going back. Boy, he'd had no idea.

He fell in love with her. And, stupidly, he told her. Granted, he hadn't been really thinking at the moment, it had just slipped out... but, he told her. And she just stood there and stammered. Then that was it. He walked past her, out of the poolhouse, and that had been the end.

He checked his watch and damned the traffic. It was 11:45. Fifteen minutes until the New Year.

* * *

Kirsten checked the clock on the dashboard and glanced over at Sandy. Fifteen minutes remained until the New Year, and Sandy was already dead to the world. All the scotch he'd consumed had finally caught up with him just a few minutes after they'd left.

As she pulled into the driveway, she sighed, shaking her head at the fact she'd have to somehow haul her husband into their bedroom and put him to bed for the night. After parking and going around to the passenger side, she opened the door and unbuckled Sandy, shaking him slightly. "Sandy? Sandy, wake up. I need to get you inside."

He stirred, but just barely. Kirsten tried again. "Sandy, I need you to open your eyes for just a few minutes until I can get you inside, okay?"

He smiled lazily. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look tonight? Especially now... except you're all blurry. You're blurry, but you're still my Kirsten. I'll call you Blursten."

She rolled her eyes. "That's wonderful, Sandy. Can you stand up?" She helped him out of the car and held onto him tightly as he tried to regain his equilibrium. She then threw his arm over her shoulders and wrapped her arm tight around his waist, trying not to fall down when he leaned his full weight on her. "Alright, here we go."

"You're so wonderful to me." He sighed and began to croon, "'Oh my darlin'... you are wonderfuuullll... toooniiiiiight..."

Kirsten managed to unlock the door and still hang on to Sandy, and upon stepping into the entryway, her jaw dropped.

The house was in complete disarray -- tables were overturned, cushions from the couch were scattered, and the drapes were tangled together. Not to mention the house was littered with plastic cups and plates and generally reeked of alcohol. And, in the center of it all was Hailey, passed out on the couch.

Kirsten sighed and shook her head, muttering to herself, "I can't deal with this right now," as she hauled Sandy toward the bedroom.

She got him into bed with minimal fuss, though she knew it would be nearly impossible to get him undressed and into pajamas. She resolved he'd have to sleep in his suit for the night. She was done. And there were just ten minutes left until the New Year.

* * *

The traffic had finally begun to move, and Ryan checked his watch as the cab turned onto his street. Ten minutes before midnight. When the cab pulled into the driveway, he threw way too much money at the driver and jumped out, slamming the door and jogging up the driveway. He paused at Kirsten's Range Rover, noting that the passenger-side door was still open, and peered inside before he closed it.

Ryan then jogged up the steps and threw open the front door, stopping dead in his tracks in the entryway. The house was a war zone, to put it lightly, and in the middle of it all was a slumbering Hailey. "Oh, God," he whispered as he surveyed the damage. And the first thought in his head as he looked around? Kirsten was going to go ballistic.

So Ryan did the first thing he could think of -- he headed into the kitchen and grabbed a trash bag. In five minutes, he had all the cups and plates cleaned up from the kitchen and living room, deciding to leave the rest for Hailey to clean up in the morning. Kirsten would have a fit either way.

And then he remembered the Range Rover. Where _was_ Kirsten? He instinctively headed for the bedroom, from which loud snores were coming. He peeked inside and saw Sandy asleep on his back, arms and legs sprawled across the bed with his mouth open. He appeared to be passed out for the night. And Kirsten was nowhere to be found.

Ryan checked his watch again. "Three minutes," he sighed to himself, and exited the master bedroom through the glass doors, heading for the poolhouse.

He took a breath before reaching for the doorknob, wondering what kind of mess would be waiting for him in there thanks to Hailey's party. He twisted the knob and pulled the door open, and he gaped at what he saw. "Kirsten."

Kirsten rose to her feet from sitting on the bed and turned down the television, where the ball in Times Square was preparing to drop. She smoothed out her black dress briefly. "Hey. You're home early."

His eyes flicked over her. "So are you."

"Yeah, uh... Sandy kind of..." she gestured in the direction of the master bedroom, "had a few too many scotches, so..." She clasped her hands in front of her. "Where's Marissa?"

Ryan shrugged one shoulder and glanced toward the television, where the countdown had hit one minute. The ball began to drop. "She's probably getting ready to kiss Oliver."

A vertical crease appeared between Kirsten's eyebrows briefly. "Why didn't you stay?" she asked softly, though her tone told Ryan she already knew the answer to that.

"I didn't want to ring in the New Year with her." He eyed her through his lashes, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Why didn't you stay out with Sandy?"

Kirsten's eyes darted to the television screen again... thirty seconds and counting. She then cast her eyes to the floor. "I..."

"Kirsten?" He dared to take a step toward her, inwardly dared her to look at him.

As if tuned in to his thoughts, she looked up and met his eyes. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I haven't been able to for the past week."

Ryan just stared, waiting patiently for her to continue.

She walked toward him, still clasping her hands in front of her. "And I know it's illicit and it's against the rules, and that in my mind I made the right decision." She shook her head and took the final steps until she was toe-to-toe with him. "But my heart doesn't want to listen."

The crowds on TV began to count down from ten, and Ryan's attention turned to the dropping ball only until he felt Kirsten's hands on his chest.

"Ryan..."

His hands instinctively went to her hips as he met her eyes.

Kirsten held his gaze steadily as she let it out. "I'm in love with you, too."

The crowds finished counting down from three, to two, to one... and then a roar of, "Happy New Year!" flowed from the television speakers.

Ryan turned back to the object of his devotion and searched her eyes. "This'll never work," he whispered, but began to lean toward her.

"I know," Kirsten sighed, and leaned in.

"It'll only end badly." His breath puffed against her lips.

When she nodded, their lips just barely brushed. "I know that too."

Ryan paused, a hair's breadth away from her lips, and met her eyes. "So what do we do now?"

"We ring in the New Year." Her smile took his breath away. "Kiss me."

Their gaze held until their lips came together, at which point their eyes snapped shut. Ryan, for the first time in what seemed like forever, was feeling again. He wrapped his arms tight around Kirsten as he deepened the kiss, fusing their bodies together from lips to legs.

They backed toward the bed on autopilot, stopping when Kirsten's heels came in contact with the mattress. Then, they broke from each other's lips and began systematically divesting each other of their clothes.

Kirsten pushed Ryan's button-down shirt off his shoulders impatiently, letting it fall to the floor before she reached for his beater and pulled it over his head. Once he was naked from the waist-up, Kirsten reached for his belt, only to have Ryan grab her hands with a devilish smile.

"Who says you get to have all the fun?"

He stepped forward and began dusting kisses down her neck, while his hands reached around for the zipper on her dress. He dragged it down slowly, his intent to tease... but Kirsten was having none of that. She grabbed his hand behind her back and helped him yank the zipper down, letting the dress pool around her ankles before she stepped out of it, along with her pumps.

The next thing to go was Ryan's belt; Kirsten unlatched it at breakneck speed and whipped it out of the belt loops like a magician doing a tablecloth trick. The momentum pulled his hips toward her and, laughing, they fell together to the bed.

Ryan's body blanketed hers as he lavished attention on the soft globes of flesh above her black satin bra. His hands slid to her sides and Kirsten automatically arched her back. When Ryan's hands remained stationary, she squirmed against him impatiently.

"Just unhook the damn thing," she growled, and smiled when she felt Ryan's answering chuckle reverberate against her collarbone.

"I really missed you bossing me around like this."

Nevertheless, he did as she bade and reached under her, unhooking her bra and pulling it off her as quickly as he could, tossing it behind him and grinning when it landed atop the TV.

Before he could comment on this, however, Kirsten had grabbed him by one of his belt loops and pulled him back down to her. Their noses bumped as they grinned at each other, and Kirsten lightly teased his lips with hers. Ryan, now, was the one too impatient to endure the teasing, as he plundered her lips with his.

Kirsten popped open the button on his fly and dragged his zipper down, trying to push his stubborn jeans past his hips. After a good minute or so of struggling, they chuckled against each other's lips and Ryan broke away, standing up to remove his jeans and kick them off to the side.

When he returned to the bed, Kirsten's hands were immediately inside his boxers, and he groaned in response, reaching for the sheer black lace panties on her hips. He slid them down her legs with careful precision and dropped them onto the floor before returning his hands to her body.

Kirsten squirmed against him, soft moans cascading from her lips. "Ryan..."

He answered with a muffled moan against her taut stomach, his lips sliding further down.

She gently grabbed his head and pulled him back up to her, smiling when he gave a puzzled look. "I promise we can engage in some foreplay at a later date. Tonight? I've been a week without you and I need you, Ryan."

Ryan smiled and captured her lips, sliding his body against hers until his pelvis rested in the cradle of her hips. Then, as Kirsten twined her long legs around him, he gently slid inside her.

She cried out at the sensation -- a sensation not felt for a week -- and arched against him, her hips moving in tandem with his. Her nails raked along his back and he shuddered against her, latching his lips onto her neck and sucking the skin into his mouth.

Kirsten cried out again and let her head fall back against the pillows, not caring if anyone could hear her. Ryan's mouth on her neck was driving her toward that peak that she was so desperate to reach. She clawed at his back as he went deeper and bit down gently on his shoulder to keep from screaming.

She wasn't sure if it was because they'd been apart for a week, because of their admitted mutual feelings for each other, or because of the champagne she'd had earlier, but Kirsten was sure it had never been this good. She closed her eyes and every time he thrust, bursts of color appeared behind her closed eyelids. Her head was swimming and she couldn't have cared less that Ryan was probably leaving quite the mark on her neck.

He thrust one more time, deeply, and that was it for Kirsten. She was pushed over the edge and was more than happy to drag Ryan with her as she clenched around him.

They collapsed against the mattress, voices quieting, and Ryan removed his lips from her neck. "Uh-oh..."

Kirsten smiled and panted, "Don't worry. I've got concealer that works like a magic wand."

Ryan chuckled breathlessly and kissed her lips, dropping to his side next to her. "Well, good, because you're gonna need it."

"Ryan, that was just... it was..."

"I know," he nodded, and drew her onto his chest, circling his arms around her. "I don't think it's ever been that intense."

"Well, the very first time it was... and I didn't think it could get better than that, but... this definitely gave that first time a run for its money."

He laughed and leaned his head back against the pillows, stroking her hair. He sighed. "Happy New Year, Kirsten."

"Happy New Year, Ryan." She propped her chin up on his chest, prompting him to meet her eyes. When he did, her lips curled in a smile. "Did you know that they say how you spend your New Year's is how you'll spend the rest of the year?"

Ryan's brows flicked upward. "Really? Well, then this is gonna be one hell of a year."

She giggled and leaned up to kiss his lips. "Mm-hmm."

"For now, though, I think we should get some sleep. Should I set the alarm, or are you leaving?"

"Ryan, I literally can't move right now, so I think you should set the alarm."

He chuckled. "You got it."

After setting the alarm early enough for her to get up, dress, and go back to the master bedroom so as not to arouse suspicion, Ryan laid back with Kirsten and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her lips gently. "Then, tomorrow, I'll help you clean up the aftermath of Hailey's party. Deal?"

Kirsten smiled and kissed him back, sinking into his embrace. "Deal."

* * *

TBC 


	11. Promises, Promises

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER 11: Promises, Promises

* * *

"It really _does_ work like a magic wand," Ryan commented, tilting his head to better examine the spot where his lips had marked her on New Year's Eve.

Kirsten hummed a chuckle, flipping another page in the folder she was going through. "I told you." She shifted slightly as she laid sideways across his lap, her ribs protesting the position just a little. She craned her neck back to look up at him. "I'm sorry I had to work over lunch. I'd hoped we'd have some more alone time."

Ryan smiled and caressed her hair. "We're having alone time right now."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Not the kind we usually have." She shifted again, still across his lap but now mostly on her back, casting an apologetic gaze at him.

With a grin, he leaned down to her and they exchanged a passionate kiss. "It's alright," he murmured against her lips before kissing her deeply again.

The next time they came up for air, he added, "Your sister's still here, anyway."

"You're right. One more person we have to tiptoe around." Kirsten moved onto her side again and flipped the folder shut, closing her eyes and smiling when Ryan's hand curved around her stomach to her waist.

"We've done a pretty good job so far."

"Famous last words," she quipped.

"We'll be fine, Kirsten. It might be good for us to, y'know... slow things down a little, anyway. I mean, you _are_ still trying to work on your marriage, aren't you?"

She sighed. "Yeah. I guess so. New Year's left me a little confused--"

"You and me both."

Kirsten braced herself on Ryan's crossed legs and pushed herself up to a sitting position, angling her body to face him. "I think it would probably be a good idea to work on it. Granted, I don't know how involved Sandy's going to be in that process..."

Ryan raised an eyebrow while moving a lock of hair behind Kirsten's ear. "He's still doing a lot of late nights at work? With that Rachel woman?"

"No. That -- whatever it was -- seems to be pretty much over. It's this ongoing case with my dad that's causing some friction. Friction that Sandy seems to be okay with for now." As if realizing she was rambling, Kirsten shook her head and reached for Ryan, laying her palms across his cheeks and drawing him in for a kiss. "But that's nothing for you to worry about."

Ryan leaned into her for another kiss, one which immediately turned passionate, and they simultaneously leaned back on the bed. He smiled against Kirsten's lips. "When is your lunch hour over?"

Kirsten grinned right back and bit down softly on his bottom lip. "Umm... probably right about now."

He left a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down her neck and across her collarbone as he undid her blazer. "So, don't you have to be getting back to the office?" he murmured teasingly against her skin.

She smiled as her eyes slipped closed, and she raked her fingers through his already-tousled blond hair. "Yes, I do. If only you'd get off me."

"Mm," he hummed, now against her navel as he pushed her silk camisole up to rest just under her rib cage. "I wish I could help you there, I really do."

She chuckled, barely suppressing the following moan when his tongue dipped into her belly button. "Ryan, I really should get back." Regretfully, she shoved at his shoulders just enough to maneuver herself out from under him. "I'm sorry."

He caught her from behind at the edge of his bed and twined one strong arm around her waist, leaning around her to kiss her again. "If you stayed, I could make it worth your while."

"I know," she smiled against his lips. "Believe me, I know." She gave him one last, deep kiss, followed by a smouldering look through her lashes. "You've made it worth my while every single time we've been together."

"Come on," he grinned, "What would you rather be doing? Work, or--"

"You know I'd rather be doing you," she chuckled, and untangled herself from him yet again to rise to her feet and step into her shoes. "But I'm expected back at the office. Not to mention Hailey's still here, and you have to get ready for school to start up again tomorrow. Besides..." She leaned down to dust his lips with a kiss, one that held a promise of things to come. "There's always tonight," she reminded him in a whisper.

"Alright, fine," he huffed, mock disappointedly. "But if you don't keep that promise, I _will_ have to punish you." He raised his eyebrows pointedly.

She winked at him over her shoulder on her way to the door. "I'll be looking forward to that."

She mouthed her love at him before she slipped out the door; then, she schooled her features in case Hailey happened to be in sight, and headed back to the Newport Group.

* * *

"There you are! Thank God, I didn't wanna be stuck talking to Julie Cooper any longer than I needed to," Hailey Nichol gushed as her sister breezed by.

Kirsten smiled at her younger sister as she headed into her office. "What are you doing here, Hail?"

"I was waiting for you to come back from lunch to see if you wanted to go shopping with me."

"Hailey..." Kirsten tilted her head, giving her sister an admonishing look.

Hailey lifted her hands in supplication. "It's only for stuff to wear on interviews, I swear."

"You're actually planning on staying long enough to find a job?"

Hailey folded her arms across her chest and studied her sister with narrow-eyed contemplation. "Why do you sound so shocked?"

Kirsten shrugged and ran a hand through her hair, half-realizing she hadn't combed it after spending her lunch hour with Ryan. "It's just... not really like you to stick around anyplace for long." Upon catching the look she was receiving, she added, "That's not a bad thing, Hailey. That's just who you are. You're not comfortable staying in one place for too long, you like to move around; you like to try new places and new things, meet new people. That's one of the things I love about you."

Hailey smiled. "Thanks."

Kirsten shrugged and amended, "Of course, that's also one of the things that makes me worry about you."

"Things are different this time, Kirsten, I promise. I'm really going to try to find someplace I wanna stay and put down roots. I want to find a job that I can be happy at, and still earn a good living."

Kirsten smiled and wrapped her younger sister in a hug. "Well, I'm proud of you, Hailey."

"Thanks." When she pulled away, Hailey took a good look at her sister. "Are you okay, Kirsten?"

Caught off guard, Kirsten met Hailey's eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"Your face is a little flushed."

"Oh, I was... running late," she explained, and immediately regretted uttering such an explanation.

"Why? What were you doing?"

Kirsten shrugged and averted her eyes, busying herself with taking folders out of her brief case. "I was just, y'know... catching up on files and stuff over lunch, and I lost track of time. I kind of had to hurry to get back here."

"Oh." Hailey's brow furrowed. "Your hair's messy."

"It was windy."

"You're hiding something, Kiks," Hailey intoned, using the shortened nickname their father bestowed upon Kirsten.

Kirsten shook her head, still keeping her eyes from her sister's. "Not hiding anything."

"Yes you are," Hailey laughed. "I'm your sister. I may not be around all the time anymore, but that doesn't mean I've lost the ability to ready you like a book! Now spill."

Kirsten finally forced herself to meet her sister's eyes as she insisted, "I'm not hiding anything, Hailey. Drop it now."

Hailey narrowed her eyes contemplatively. "Alright..." she replied slowly, warily. She pointed over her shoulder to the door. "I'm gonna head out to Fashion Island. Are you coming with me?"

"I can't, I'm sorry. I have a lot of work to do."

"Okay," she shrugged. "I guess I'll just... see you at dinner tonight."

With another smile and another narrow-eyed look toward her sister, Hailey headed for the door, leaving Kirsten to sigh and stuff a hand through her hair again.

* * *

"Hey, Ryan."

Ryan just barely looked up to acknowledge who'd entered the Cohen kitchen. "Hailey."

"Can you help me?" Without waiting for a response, she dumped a few shopping bags into his arms and flicked him a smile, sighing, "Thanks. Those were getting so freakin' heavy. My arms are going to fall off."

"Did some shopping, huh?" He did his best to sound interested though he continually eyed the clock every few seconds, counting down the minutes until Kirsten would be home.

"Yeah. It's for job interviews, I swear."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did I imply otherwise?"

Hailey smiled. "Just wanted to cover my bases. So what's for dinner tonight?"

He glanced over his shoulder at the stove, where he was preparing angel hair noodles. "I'm making spaghetti. Just to help Kirsten. Otherwise we'd be having Thai for the fifth night in a row."

"You do that a lot, huh?"

Ryan nodded. "Yeah, well. Thai food's pretty good, I guess, and I don't think the Cohens have ever been really big on--"

"No, not that."

"Then what?"

"Helping Kirsten. You do it a lot."

"Well..." He went over to the stove to stir his noodles (and avoid Hailey's penetrating stare) as he replied as nonchalantly as possible, "Kirsten's not exactly an ace in the kitchen."

"No, I know. But I just mean... helping her in general. I mean, I've seen you helping her in the garden -- on a Saturday, might I add, when you should be out with your friends or at least a girlfriend--"

"Don't have one," Ryan said, continuing to avoid her gaze.

"Yeah. Right. A guy that looks like you doesn't have a girlfriend."

The sarcasm was hard to miss. "Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Not really. I was just making an observation that you and Kirsten seem... close. You seem to really care about her."

He nodded. "I'm very grateful to Kirsten for letting me live here." Which was the truth, but... the smallest fraction of his feelings for her.

"I guess so."

There was something about Hailey's tone. Ryan turned away from the stove and narrowed his eyes at her slightly, contemplating her. "What?"

Hailey shrugged, parroting his, "What?" right back at him. She smiled enigmatically and reminded him, "It was just an observation, Ry-man." She started to head out onto the patio and glanced at him over her shoulder on the way out. "No need to get your tightie-whities in a wad."

Ryan was left mere moments to ponder her remarks before Kirsten arrived home. She beamed at him from the entryway and set her stuff down as quickly as possible. "Hey!"

He twitched a smile back, mindful of Hailey wandering around just outside the window. "Hey, so I thought I'd save us from having Thai yet again and made dinner."

"Well aren't you sweet!" She grinned and made a beeline for him. "Thank you." She placed her hands on his shoulder and leaned in to press a lingering kiss to his cheek.

Ryan shied away as nonchalantly as he could. "Yeah, you're welcome, and uh," he made a point of adding, "Hailey's outside waiting for dinner to be ready."

"Ah." Predictably, she got it right away. "Thanks for telling me."

"Mm-hmm."

Kirsten raised an eyebrow and tossed a glance out the window, where Hailey was smiling and waving almost... knowingly? Smugly? Something. Kirsten waved back, smiling tentatively. Then she turned to Ryan and lowered her voice, leaning one hand on the counter while planting the other on her hip. "So I guess me dragging you off to the poolhouse for a _proper_ greeting is out of the question?"

At this, Ryan chuckled. "Yeah, unfortunately."

"Well..." She patted his shoulder and started for the sliding glass door. "There's always later," she promised, and winked covertly at him over her shoulder.

Ryan was careful to only smile after her a few seconds before schooling his features again, whispering "Promises, promises," as he drained the angel hair.

* * *

TBC

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yes, I know this took me an absurdly long time to update, and I apologize. It's getting harder and harder to write season one Rysten (especially with all the great moments we were given in season 3 and a few in 4), but I'm going to try my damndest, because the Rystenlove must live on! 


	12. Satisfaction

TITLE: The Sleepless  
CHAPTER 12: Satisfaction

* * *

Kirsten cried out, softly as she could, when she was slammed against the wall and subsequently pinned. Then, lips were on her neck, a hard body was against hers, and she lost all ability to think on her own. "Ryan..."

He just moaned and continued kissing her neck, slipping his hands up her shirt and smiling against her skin when she arched into him. "Mmm?"

"Did I ever-" she gasped when he hit a sensitive spot, "-tell you... oh!-" and clung to him desperately, "-thank you for making dinner?"

Ryan smiled against her once more and flicked open all of her shirt buttons expertly. "You may have. I can't remember."

"Oh." She kissed him deeply and unlatched his belt, pulled it out of the loops roughly. "Okay, well in case I didn't? Thank you, Ryan, for making dinner. It was delicious."

"You're welcome, Kirsten."

"And I'm fully prepared to show you just how grateful I am. Remember, though--"

"We have to be quick and quiet, I know." He grinned and pulled her into the poolhouse bathroom with him. "I know the drill."

Everyone else was inside. Sandy was in his office finishing some paperwork from his latest case, and Seth had somehow convinced Hailey to play PlayStation with him. Ryan and Kirsten had seized the opportunity and ducked outside, Ryan through the patio doors and Kirsten taking the long way through the master bedroom. They'd snuck into the poolhouse and were all over each other in a matter of seconds.

Ryan pinned Kirsten to the wall inside his bathroom and shut the door, locking it just in case anyone decided to come looking for the two of them. "Any idea when we _won't _have to be quick and quiet?" he asked, shoving her skirt past her hips before pressed her to the wall again. "Because not that I don't love this..." His lips latched onto her neck again and he lifted her, hooked her legs around his waist. "But... I kinda miss being able to take my time with you."

When he pulled back, Kirsten touched his face as he worked on his zipper. "I know you do. I miss that too." They kissed again, foreheads meeting when they pulled away, and she felt him moving her panties aside. "I promise we can have some - oh!" She gasped and threw her head back against the wall when he slipped inside her, hands gripping his shoulders for dear life. "Some more quality time..." She felt herself panting with the exertion of simultaneously trying to hold back her moans, and trying to hold herself up as Ryan moved within her. "...with each other... soon. Oh God, Ryan."

Ryan buried his face in her hair and wound one arm tight around her waist while the other grasped her thigh. He was trying to go slow... needed to go slow. Fast motion incited lots of loud moaning and gasping... sometimes screaming (when they were alone) from Kirsten. And with Seth and Hailey just yards away, that was not an option, as badly as Ryan wanted to hear those sounds again.

Kirsten whimpered and let her head fall forward onto his shoulder. "Oh God, I wish you could go fast. This is amazing, but it's torture, Ryan."

"I know. For me too." He pulled back from her just enough to incite her to lift her head. When their eyes met, he raised an eyebrow. "We can try something, if you promise to TRY to keep your voice down." He thrust gently inside her again and smirked when her eyes slipped shut.

Fighting to get out so much as one coherent word, she replied, "Trying is all I can promise."

"Okay." He leaned in, slanted his lips over hers, and kissed her deeply, aggressively, while speeding up his movements.

Kirsten was whimpering again, but for an entirely different reason altogether, and she cupped his face tightly as he continued to kiss her. "Almost there," she managed to whisper into his mouth.

"Mm-hmm." He kissed her deeply again and held her tight, feeling her body begin to tense as he sped up just a little more...

"Ryan!" she exclaimed into his mouth, and was gone.

It took Ryan mere seconds to follow her, and they slid down the bathroom wall together in a boneless heap. He ran his fingers through Kirsten's hair and kissed her neck. "You handled that better than I thought you would."

Kirsten chuckled and whacked his shoulder jokingly. "What am I, some screaming banshee?"

He smirked. "Well, when I'm givin' you some of my best stuff..."

She rolled her eyes facetiously and kissed him. "Best stuff? If you say so."

He raised his eyebrows in a challenge. "Don't MAKE me do that again. You couldn't handle it."

"Give me your best shot!" she teased right back, a twinkle in her eye.

Ryan grinned and kissed her passionately again, then helped her to stand, smiling half-smugly when he noted how wobbly her legs were. "Nice try, but we should get back inside." He resituated his clothes before helping her with hers. "I'll go first and distract them so you can sneak back in through the master bedroom."

"Should I be concerned that we're becoming really rather good at the sneaking around?"

He shrugged. "Probably."

"Hmmm." Kirsten pondered that for a split-second before smiling and leaning in to kiss him again. "Oh, well." She patted his chest before lightly shoving his shoulder. "Go on."

"Jeez, bossy. Who made you dinner?"

She rolled her eyes again. "I already thanked you for that."

"Alright, fine." Ryan kissed her one last time before unlocking the bathroom door and heading out, calling over his shoulder, "See you in there."

Kirsten grinned and bit down softly on her lip as she watched him go.

* * *

"Dude, where the hell were you? Hailey's been kicking my ass! I could've used a little help here," Seth complained, looking at Ryan upside down over the back of the couch.

Ryan lifted his eyebrows briefly in greeting and wandered over toward them. "Hey. I, uh, had a few homework things to finish up on."

"Ahh. You slacker. How can you even think about doing homework when there are video games to be played?" Seth grinned.

Ryan just barely smirked back and flopped down on the couch adjacent to the one Seth and Hailey were perched on.

Hailey smiled over at him. "Enjoy doing your homework?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, eyeing her warily. "I... guess it's nice having everything finished for the night." Why the hell was she looking at him like that?

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll bet that's very... _satisfying_ for you."

His heart leapt into his throat but he kept his expression as neutral as possible. "Okay..."

Moments later, Kirsten was coming out of the master bedroom and heading down the hall toward them. "Hey guys! What've you been doing?"

Ryan watched Hailey watching Kirsten, and Seth remained focused on the video game while he attempted to kill Hailey's character. "Just... questioning my gaming prowess," Seth quipped, and nodded toward his aunt. "I think Hailey's a closet video game nerd or something."

Kirsten smiled, raising her eyebrows. "She beat you?"

"Six times," Seth nodded a confirmation. "I have been humbled, mother."

"Well, finally," she sighed facetiously, and grinned at her son before sending a discreet wink toward Ryan.

He just barely flicked a smile back before turning his attention to the television screen. Glimpsing quick at Hailey, he noted her eyes were still on Kirsten.

"What have _you _been doing, sis?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Kirsten shrugged. "Just finishing up some files."

"Ahh." Ryan watched Hailey nod, and the look on her face was way too transparent as she commented, "Must be satisfying for you, getting your work done. I was just talking to Ryan about that very same thing."

Kirsten's eyes flicked toward him ever-so-briefly before she looked back down at her sister. "Well, stuff's been piling up, unfortunately. Have to bring work home with me sometimes."

"Huh."

With that, the conversation ended and Hailey went back to her video game with Seth. Kirsten headed for the refrigerator, but not before she and Ryan exchanged a look.

* * *

"Hey."

Ryan buried his face in his pillow and turned on his stomach, ignoring the whisper coming from the doorway.

"Hey. Hey, you awake?"

"No," he grumbled. When he heard the soft giggle, he opened his eyes and turned to the door.

Kirsten was slipping inside the poolhouse, her silk robe wrapped tightly around her lithe frame. "Sorry."

"No, s'alright." He smiled sleepily at her, adoring the way the moonlight lit her blonde tresses in a halo, and he held out his arms, beckoning her into them. "C'mere."

Kirsten grinned, not needing to be told twice, and tossed her robe aside before climbing into bed with him. "Couldn't sleep," she muttered as explanation.

"Well, I can definitely help with that. Did you just need to see me, or..." He slipped one spaghetti strap of her nightgown off her shoulder and placed a kiss there. "Did you need me to tire you out?"

He felt her smile as his lips moved to her collarbone. "Well... I _am _pretty wide awake."

"Hmmm." In a matter of moments, he had her nightgown laying in a puddle at the foot of his bed, and his hands were roaming her body. As he kissed her navel, he asked, "Do you think Hailey knows?"

Obviously distracted by his ministrations, Kirsten asked (after a few moments of soft moaning), breathlessly, "Knows what?"

He rested his chin on her stomach. "About us. About this."

A vertical crease indented the space between her eyebrows and she ran her fingers through his hair. "No. Why?"

Ryan shrugged, going back to kissing her navel and pushing her panties down her legs. "She just..." He kissed down one leg, tossing the panties aside, before kissing up the other leg... "Seems like she knows something. She's acting kinda weird."

"Oh. Well, I haven't noticed anything--" Kirsten gasped loudly when his lips reached the place she wanted them most, and all talking promptly ceased. She arched against him, raked her fingers through his hair as encouragement. "Oh God, oh God, oh..." She continued to chant and babble toward his ceiling fan, which was spinning lazily above them. She closed her eyes and with every touch of his lips, every stroke of his tongue, color burst behind her closed lids. Just when she was about to crash over the edge, Ryan started kissing up her body and she groaned in disappointment.

She felt his grin before even opening her eyes, and she cupped his face, noses bumping when she pulled him close. "Tease."

He grinned and gave her a kiss. "You love it and you know it."

"Yes, I do. But right now, no more teasing. I need you."

Ryan smiled and leaned down to kiss her as he pushed inside her, blanketing her body with his own. They moved together in tandem, moaning softly and exchanging deep, soulful kisses. Kirsten snaked her arms up his back and clasped his shoulders, then dug her fingernails into his biceps as she neared the edge again. Within minutes they were both flying, kissing feverishly to cloak any cries that could give them away... finally sinking against the mattress together.

"Think you can get some sleep now?" he teased, pulling away to gather her nightgown, robe, and panties.

Kirsten grinned and pulled him in for an aggressive kiss when he came back to her, snatching the items from his hands. No sooner had they broken apart from their kiss when a shadow appeared on the other side of the closed poolhouse blinds... and a knock sounded.

Kirsten, with eyes wide, practically bolted into the bathroom and hid in the shower. Ryan watched her until he was sure she was hidden before he pulled his sweats on and got up to answer the door.

Hailey was on the other side, looking him up and down. "What are you doing up?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You knocked on my door."

"Right." She pushed past him and stepped into the poolhouse, spinning to face him once she was inside. "Hey, do you have any Tylenol PM? I can't fall asleep and Kirsten doesn't keep any in the bathroom upstairs."

"Yeah, I think so," Ryan sighed, fighting not to let his relief out as he went behind the counter and grabbed the small bottle, tossing it at her.

Hailey caught it effortlessly and held it up for a moment, "Hey thanks." She started for the door and turned over her shoulder halfway there, posing another question. "Do you have any air freshener?"

"I think so. Why, you need a nice inhalant to go with your Tylenol PM?" he quipped.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, glaring facetiously. "No." She then gestured around the room and told him in an almost knowing voice, "You might wanna spray some in here."

With that, she left, and Ryan stood there staring at the door until he was positive she was back in the house and up in the guest room. Then he went over to the bathroom, from which Kirsten was just emerging once again fully dressed, belting her robe around her tightly.

He met her gaze and nodded slowly. "Yeah. She knows."

* * *

TBC 


End file.
